How NOT to be a Knight.

[Thorsteinn]

I was sent the following message via PM by Kevin Maurer of http://www.freifechter.com Florida on the HEMA Alliance Forum:
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Re: Striking in unarmed Medieval/renaissance MA

Sent at: Fri Mar 11, 2011 5:23 pm
by Kevin Maurer
Subject: Striking in unarmed Medieval/renaissance MA

   

Sean Karp wrote:Dunno if this helps, but it sure is funny-

    http://www.dropshots.com/abmichaels#date/2010-03-02/23:35:39

    Guest password is: isabellae

    Story of that to be found here: http://forums.armourarchive.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=113061&highlight=academy

Would it help if i pointed out when you were having difficulty communicating with others? As in the Asperbergers syndrom that you claim? For surely you do not know that you potentially have subverted a technical conversation, based on Jay Vails'. many years of intensive study. It is insulting to read your posts, especially following one from Jay. Your interest does not authorize your impertinent replies.IMO (heres the part(s) where I insult you), I think the grin on your Photo answers our questions as to the level of your intent and sincerity. I wish I lived close to you. I would physically demonstrate what we have been laboring with for many years. And then I am positive you would have a greater understanding. I speak only for myself, when I say that i think less of you, for having ZERO control of your emotions. Begin there. Learn self discipline, and your "aspergers" will be a mute point. use the study of HEMA to rid yourself of such ineptitude, stop apologizing for having a disease, has anyone ever told you that is a weakness? Erschrickstu gern, kein fechten lern, und loß mit deiner schade selbst.
disrespectfully yours,
Kevin Maurer
PS you wouldnt believe the hate filled and curse laced paragraphs I wrote, then deleted here.
I must be getting old, you queer, wipe that grin off your face!!!!!


My Reply:

Calm down, see past the surface, and to the video that showed that a normal gauntleted punch could affect someone wearing a properly padded helm in a detrimental way.

Then seek to include Humor & a Light Heart in your studies, or you will trip upon your own Anger and fall. Trust me, I know.

After you have done so I ask only that you apologize to me and we call the issue resolved.

However, if that does not suffice, then I will gladly give you the surety to salve your wounded honor that you seek. All you have to do is call me out in public, come to Sparks, NV, and we will have the fight to submission that you wish. Know that I am no wilting flower, no easily impressed toady who will fall merely because you wish it. I am a man, and an honorable one. I walk the Path as best I can with my imperfect self, and my travels have given me many skills that I will use to prove your error upon your body.

Should you choose to not follow the above mentioned solutions then I call you Braggart, Coward, Fool, and a Dishonorable Snake. A child of big words and small..... follow-though.

With Honor,

-Sean Karp

Known in these current middle ages as Lord Ivan Ivanovitch Serebrenikov of the West Kingdom of the Society for Creative Anachronism.
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While I will not treat this incident with any great weight so if it goes no further tan it has then I am completely fine. I did appreciate the chance to try to write a well crafted reply to this insult though. The kind a knight might write.

Thoughts? Did I handle the situation Well or Poorly? Should I have acted different?

-Ivan

[Sir Edward]

Without knowing the context or what led to that, it's hard to understand the circumstances. But just based on the what you quoted, it's always good to maintain the moral high ground by staying rational and not stooping to the other person's level, IMHO. It's far better to debate ideas than to sling insults.

To me it looks like he's being a total ass-hat to you.

What brought this on?

[SirNathanQ]

Yes, you are completely in the right. There is a reason this coward sent this message privately, where no one else could see it.
Furthermore, he is making a personal attack upon you, and a condition of which you have no part in the cause of. My little brother is Autistic, and if any were fool enough to insult him (especially on grounds of his autism) I would immediately respond by demanding a surrender, and if it's not received, proceed to wrench it out of their dishonorable gizzard!
Such is NOT the behavior of proper knights in any way, shape or form.   

[Sir Rodney]

Ivan,

I took the time to read more than a dozen of your posts on that board.  None of them can be described as insulting, insincere or impertinent.  I would characterize them as inquisitive, on-point and sometimes humorous.  Obviously this gentleman holds Jay Vails in very high regard and you are not permitted to post after him.

His immature response should give you a clue to his true nature.  I would not have offered him the right of combat as he did not earn it.

My best friend has Aspersers.  We've been friends literally from diapers to this day covering a span of 40 years.  To include this disability in his response is beyond comprehension.  I would not speak further with this individual as it will accomplish nothing.

Regards,
Rodney

[Thorsteinn]

@ Sir Edward: It is due to some kerfufle on the HEMA Alliance forum, and that his group is know for their bad attitudes (think Cobra Kai Dojo). He feels that I am insulting his Holy Order by breathing the same air as him and thinking my heathen SCA/EMA butt is good enough to post on 'his' forum. He is not the first person on that forum to act this way, but others have reached out & more than made up for the badness.

@Sir Nathan: Thanks for the thoughts. In my defense I am 6' 225lbs and fairly muscular, I fear not for my safety, not anymore.

@Rodney:Thank you. I concur on your conclusion both on the no more communication & on his worship of Jay Vail, but.....   I am also a Bard, and I had my "Bad Bard! No Biscuit!" moment when I got his reply, and wrote back.....

So in the spirit of honesty & openness I will post that as well if those here wish it.

-Ivan

[Sir Ulrich]

Heh a few of my friends have aspergers or whatever and I myself was thought to have it but I've sorta grown out of it besides my pathological shyness which I think can be broken by meeting new people.

I like to come off as cold and uncaring to people who try to abuse me cause it makes me seem stronger as if nothing phases me. Usually if someone treats me with no respect I don't respect them back. I refuse to waste my time with such ingrates and whatnot. To me it isn't swooping down on their level, it's just following the golden rule, treat others as you wish to be treated, they wish to be treated like crap I will make sure they do. Most of the time however I don't tolerate abuse and I block people who disrespect me or ignore them because sometimes no response is better than giving one. I like to come off as cold and uncaring to people who try to abuse me cause it makes me seem stronger as if nothing phases me.

[Sir Edward]

I found the thread on the HEMA Alliance forum. It looks like you were on topic the whole time. I don't see what this guy's problem is. People like that are often best ignored, IMHO.

[Thorsteinn]

And now.... I am fully confused.

This is what I shall consider an apology but what his meaning & intent are, well that I am at a loss about. I am also at a loss as how to respond well.

-----------------

What?

Sent at: Sun Mar 13, 2011 5:03 am
From: Kevin Maurer
To: Sean Karp

What you consider as me challenging you to "duel" lol, is actually me offering my help. There is something missing in your interpretation of these arts.IMO You are confused, as you freely admit, so i was wishing I lived closer to be able to demonstrate what we are talking about. Nothing will ever be solved or answered by unadulterated violence. Nor would the results of a "duel" prove anything other than which fighter has more experience fighting. We came to that conclusion long ago.

Do you feel lorded over? Gee, I guess I AM sorry for that. Please forgive me. That was unintended. I just wish you understood the context of my earlier posts. The reason for the PM was to illuminate to you, something that perhaps you dont get about this "community" we have always welcomed all, but those who are welcomed are expected to show some restraint in their posts. Mutual respect is earned, not merely given to someone who claims fancy titles and funny made up names. Thats the difference, we are coming from different directions. What you perceive as insult, is meant as respect, and/or humor, which you already admonished me to include in my training. I will never be able to reach you on this subject, I can see that. Yet I was obligated to try.

The whole reason for contacting you in the first place, was motivated by the fact that this Forum, has declined in substance and content. It started out as a place for like minded individuals, many of whom I know personally. And now, it has degraded into childish banter back and forth about meaningless topics. So my consternation is not so much directed at you, as much as, it is directed at those who inadvertently undermine the serious study that some of us undertake. I figured that with your Post doctorate reading comprehension level, you would comprehend that, No? this Forum is not the Community, nor does it represent that. It is fractured and splintered, with many subscribing to varying levels of study. The freedoms that we all possess to banter back and forth is important here. If there are emotions and insults included than, I agree, that is a less than effective form of communication. But often used to hammer home a point. (Wrong approach I guess)

Kevin Maurer

PS I love that line about "Having my nose so high up in the Air, that I cant see the path",
That is an instant classic in my long history of verbally jousting with folks. Thank you again one thousand times. And Good luck in your endeavors. I have enjoyed our discussion, and imagine you to be a worthy adversary, unarmored of course!

[Sir Wolf]

turn the other cheek dear brother, turn the other cheek. it is better to walk away and to have learned than to fill your heart with bitterness that will only hurt yourself.

[Sir Edward]

Yeah, a back-handed apology doesn't really count as an apology, IMHO. This strikes me as being very similar to a little "argument" that occurred on one of my facebook threads not too long ago. Some people make instant value judgments against you for being in the SCA, or any other group that has titles or personas, or anything else that in their mind either "dilutes the art", or is some sort of "delusion". It's not possible to reach these people when they're dead-set in their interpretation of what you're doing, and insist on taking it upon themselves to explain to you why what you're doing is "wrong". It's best to just walk away, since you'd only be arguing against a brick wall.

You can only throw yourself against a rock so many times before you realize that the rock simply doesn't care.

[SirNathanQ]

Oh good lord, to you mean that fool that really felt in the christian spirit by cursing us out because we aren't poor as stink on the week before Christmas?

[Sir William]

Ivan, I went back and read those posts and see no reason for his response to you; it seems he took all of the angst he's felt since the decline of his most holy ordered site and threw it in your lap.  When you didn't back down and knuckle your brow, he changed his speech as you noticed.  Reminds me of a story my old pastor from a church I attended in my youth once told us during a confirmation class about a mate of his in seminary school, an event he witnessed.  
Chuck, his buddy, had gotten into a verbal riff with another seminary student who had a habit of getting agressive to get a point across.  In seminary school, I know.  Anyhow, Chuck was just a quiet guy, nothing special, and this guy slapped Chuck clean across the face.  Chuck looked back at the guy and told him not to do it again.  The whole hallway had gone silent, everyone must've been holding their breath collectively.  

Well, he did it again, and Chuck dropped him with an overhand right.  

I asked my pastor what the moral of that story was, and his reply was this:  Christ says to turn the other cheek, but Chuck, well, he said he didn't have any more cheek to offer.  We can all aspire to live to a higher standard, but we are all still human; beware any attempts to force a suitable outcome or response, you may get more than you bargained for.

[Thorsteinn]

So far folks seem to think I'm on the right side of good on this or that I'm an evil curmudgeon, and one of the ones who thinks I have been a complete arsehole on the HEMA Alliance forum is a good friend too.

Odd.

-Ivan

[Sir William]

Everyone has an opinion and people are often swayed this way or that due to the perception of the mob; that is, only the ones truly strong in character would think of standing against the flow if their belief system called for it.  The majority of people will simply go along...this is plainly evident in megachurches, political rallies and any large gathering of people that a small group of individuals are looking to influence, one way or another.

That there is a difference of opinion should not be cause for a friendship to be abandoned, unless they never were really your friend to begin with, or the cause celebre such that it instantly polarizes one in either direction.  Those are often more difficult to navigate when friendship is also at stake.

[Sir James A]

Ivan, I went back and read those posts and see no reason for his response to you; it seems he took all of the angst he's felt since the decline of his most holy ordered site and threw it in your lap.  When you didn't back down and knuckle your brow, he changed his speech as you noticed.  Reminds me of a story my old pastor from a church I attended in my youth once told us during a confirmation class about a mate of his in seminary school, an event he witnessed. 
Chuck, his buddy, had gotten into a verbal riff with another seminary student who had a habit of getting agressive to get a point across.  In seminary school, I know.  Anyhow, Chuck was just a quiet guy, nothing special, and this guy slapped Chuck clean across the face.  Chuck looked back at the guy and told him not to do it again.  The whole hallway had gone silent, everyone must've been holding their breath collectively. 

Well, he did it again, and Chuck dropped him with an overhand right. 

I asked my pastor what the moral of that story was, and his reply was this:  Christ says to turn the other cheek, but Chuck, well, he said he didn't have any more cheek to offer.  We can all aspire to live to a higher standard, but we are all still human; beware any attempts to force a suitable outcome or response, you may get more than you bargained for.

That's a great story. It reminds me of the "kid beats up bully" video that has been circulating quickly lately ... and which, IMO, is totally awesome. Just drop "seminary" and replace "punch" with "body slam" and it's the same thing.

Ivan, his second message makes it clear, at least to me, only having seen what's posted here, what one of his large issues with you (and likely others) is - when he says "someone who claims fancy titles and funny made up names", it's a direct jab at the SCA, and it seems to offend him that you're in "his game" while in the SCA too. And for him to say stop smiling in a picture? Seriously? I bet if we had cameras 500 years ago, we'd see pictures of some of the doppelsoldners and landsknechts, toting around their massive swords, wearing puffy clothes, and grinning in absolute joy. Clearly, we can't have serious discussions when our avatar images are smiling. (:rolleyes:)

Regardless of whatever content was in the thread on HEMA alliance, he made a number of glaring mistakes in those 2 messages. I would simply ignore him and continue as you were.