"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
                -- Marcus Aurelius (121 - 180)

Author Topic: Why correct action is good and awesome.  (Read 10600 times)

Thorsteinn

  • Squire of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ***
  • Posts: 2,470
Why correct action is good and awesome.
« on: 2012-09-18, 20:03:08 »
See below edit.

Part #1:
Earlier this week I accidentally fell for a woman whom I was helping out with something that I would love to give detail on but can't just yet.

I was just being me, expressing what I thought of her situation and what I thought of her, being knightly. You know, normal. I started to feel more than friendly towards her. Then I discovered Facebook has a vid call option so I used it. That was a wonderful mistake to make. We talked, she smiled, and I was lost. She has won me. Whats better? She thinks 'she' is out of 'my' league, but believes me when I tell her that's just not true, and was amazed I felt the same way about her.

Part #2:

I went to my friends home where she is a live in caregiver on Sunday to help her out with a minor errand to find her drunk and a bit abusive (she hit me hard in anger). She is a recovering alcoholic and has really fallen off the wagon. She had also promised me to stop drinking and knew my help was conditioned on her sobriety. We had a big fight where I yelled at her for breaking her word and she accused me of trying to starve her Aunt to death. I left after that. Her family contacted me and asked for the story (they have met me before and genuinely like me). We chatted back and forth and the result was that my friend was kicked out of her rent-free home for breaking her word. She tried to apologize to me but I told her to contact me after she has been sober for a few years.

Conclusion:

Within the last week by just being me, by just being Knightly I have:

#1) Lost a friend I didn't need. An abusive, passive-aggressive, advantage taking drunk.

#2) Gained the love and affection of a wonderful woman. A beautiful college grad, RPG-loving, nerdy, strong, intelligent woman.

Therefore acting correct gives you good people in your life and takes out the bad.

Attached pic is my girlfriend from a modeling shoot earlier this year.
« Last Edit: 2012-09-19, 20:19:09 by Hersir Thorsteinn »
Fall down seven, get up eight.

Sir Edward

  • Forum Admin
  • Commander of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,340
  • Verum et Honorem.
    • ed.toton.org
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #1 on: 2012-09-18, 20:15:19 »

Huzzah! It sounds like it's been quite an adventurous week for you. I'm glad that acting rightly has worked out properly.
Sir Ed T. Toton III
Knight Commander, Order of the Marshal

( Personal Site | My Facebook )

Sir Brian

  • Knight of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 4,735
  • Felix uxor beatam vitam - Happy Wife Happy Life
    • Order of the Marshal
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #2 on: 2012-09-18, 22:19:48 »
Huzzah and congratulations. Sometimes you are only left with the self-satisfaction of having a clear conscious and keeping your honor intact and when you have that and end up with the girl it is the icing on the cake! :)
"Chivalry our Strength, Brotherhood our sword"
Vert, on a Chief wavy Argent a Rose Sable,
a Gryphon Segreant Or

[img width=100 height=100]
<a href="http://s221.photobucket.com/user/Tah908/media/LP_Medals_zpsq7zzdvve.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://i221.photobucket.

Thorsteinn

  • Squire of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ***
  • Posts: 2,470
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #3 on: 2012-09-19, 19:40:43 »

EDIT: Part 1 & Part 2 are about very different women. They also live in different towns. Totally different leagues too: My former friend is playing tee-ball, while my Girlfriend is pitching for the majors.
-------------------

Posted above after some confusion on the Armour Archive about whether these stories were about the same woman.
Fall down seven, get up eight.

Sir Edward

  • Forum Admin
  • Commander of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,340
  • Verum et Honorem.
    • ed.toton.org
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #4 on: 2012-09-19, 19:41:40 »

Good clarification. I figured that out before I finished reading, but at first thought they were the same.
Sir Ed T. Toton III
Knight Commander, Order of the Marshal

( Personal Site | My Facebook )

Sir James A

  • Weapons & Armor addict
  • Knight of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 6,043
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #5 on: 2012-09-20, 11:33:07 »
Glad things worked out well for you!

No loss at all in "losing" the abusive, passive-aggressive, advantage-taking drunk - you've gained by removing them from your life, until such time that they're able to act in a way that isn't self-destructive and harmful towards you.
Knight, Order of the Marshal
Sable, a chevron between three lions statant Argent

Sir William

  • Cogito ergo sum
  • Knight of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 7,154
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #6 on: 2012-09-20, 14:30:29 »
Congratulations...life's much better when you have someone worthwhile to share it with, no?
The Black Knight, Order of the Marshal
'Per Pale Azure and Sable, a Chevron counterchanged fimbriated argent.' 
“Pride makes a man, it drives him, it is the shield wall around his reputation.  Men die, but reputation does not.â€

Thorsteinn

  • Squire of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ***
  • Posts: 2,470
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #7 on: 2012-09-20, 21:53:47 »
Went 'over the hill' to Sacramento to her place last night and got back today.

We talked a lot, we did other things more. She asked what she did to deserve me, I told her she smiled. :)

Knightlyness: 3  Inequity: 0
Fall down seven, get up eight.

Thorsteinn

  • Squire of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ***
  • Posts: 2,470
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #8 on: 2012-09-21, 04:44:31 »
I wrote this same story on the Armour Archive. The difference seems to be that, by and large, everyone here got the point of "Honorable deeds/thoughts/ways are hard but there are rewards that make it worthwhile" and a few there didn't.

Thanks for being awesome. :)

Sometimes it's hard for me to communicate what I need to via a written medium.
« Last Edit: 2012-09-21, 05:18:17 by Hersir Thorsteinn »
Fall down seven, get up eight.

Sir James A

  • Weapons & Armor addict
  • Knight of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 6,043
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #9 on: 2012-09-21, 12:54:36 »
For what it's worth, I understood perfectly. :)
Knight, Order of the Marshal
Sable, a chevron between three lions statant Argent

Sir William

  • Cogito ergo sum
  • Knight of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 7,154
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #10 on: 2012-09-21, 16:03:59 »
Same here...depends on where you posted it on that forum and of course, who responded.  I see they have certain biases towards you because you speak your mind when you feel the need to, despite however many trying to shout you down.  I admire that...it has been my experience that most will fold under that sort of onslaught, but not you.  Your detractors would mark that as something to hold against you, but we do not.

There's also this to consider: not everyone has had the pleasure of knowing such happiness- even if it does not last, you did get to experience it.  Those that have not, can never truly understand it - oh they might think they got it on an intellectual level but that's like saying you read a great book but didn't 'experience' it because imagination only goes so far when it has nothing on which to draw from.

Nothing like it in the world, is there?  I lucked out...I ended up marrying the woman who showed me what real love could be like.  It was a no-brainer for me...like that line in Knight & Day (Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz actioner):




WITH her.  :)
« Last Edit: 2012-09-21, 16:04:32 by Sir William »
The Black Knight, Order of the Marshal
'Per Pale Azure and Sable, a Chevron counterchanged fimbriated argent.' 
“Pride makes a man, it drives him, it is the shield wall around his reputation.  Men die, but reputation does not.â€

Thorsteinn

  • Squire of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ***
  • Posts: 2,470
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #11 on: 2012-09-25, 18:53:40 »
... I see they have certain biases towards you because you speak your mind when you feel the need to, despite however many trying to shout you down.  I admire that...it has been my experience that most will fold under that sort of onslaught, but not you.  Your detractors would mark that as something to hold against you, but we do not....

I have been trying to think of how to respond to that, for it is a great compliment and many have told me that they respect that in me (including a certain lovely lady), but all I could come up with is:

Thank you. It really means a lot. It's not a purposeful thing but a natural reaction. It's part of my core to try to be stubborn and fight for what I think is right.

Again, thank you. :)
Fall down seven, get up eight.

Sir William

  • Cogito ergo sum
  • Knight of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 7,154
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #12 on: 2012-09-25, 19:58:07 »
You're welcome.  I'm surrounded by politically-correct sycophants who think there is no higher calling than what they consider to be the epitome of their field...but they're all cowards as far as I'm concerned because not a one of them will speak their mind, they only speak what they think their superiors want to hear.  Not all of them, mind you...but there is this silent undercurrent of fear that drives me nuts.  It is one of the reasons why I'll never get promoted...and that doesn't bother me all that much.  What I'd have to give up in order to advance is more than my pride or sense of self can take.

The road you must trod because of your unwillingness to bend to conformity will seem harder, may actually be harder, than most...but I think it'll also be one that you'll take proudly and will be able to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and be pleased with what you see.
The Black Knight, Order of the Marshal
'Per Pale Azure and Sable, a Chevron counterchanged fimbriated argent.' 
“Pride makes a man, it drives him, it is the shield wall around his reputation.  Men die, but reputation does not.â€

Thorsteinn

  • Squire of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • ***
  • Posts: 2,470
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #13 on: 2012-10-30, 21:29:08 »
It didn't work out. She wasn't ready for a new & serious relationship, but she didn't want to leave. She wasn't prepared for how she would feel and all the issues that would bring up. I think she still loves me, "the lady doth protest too much" when it comes to anything that makes it seem, in anyway, like we are still together. I know she cares, our last night made that clear, with the biggest and most passionate fight coming after I told her I would walk away because she needed me to (though she says it was she who left, that she had wanted to for weeks, I just finally 'listened') and the ensuing mutual big cry and hug after. ("Leave my house now!", an hour later after following me outside to continue the fight, "Come inside & sleep, if you die going over Donner Pass I will feel awful", an hour later "Come stay with me in my bed till I fall asleep, but no funny stuff", the next morning "I have to go but if you want to spend a few more hours on the couch sleeping that's fine")

All I can do now is leave her be. Get better, hope for the future, and never let myself forget that I love her.
« Last Edit: 2012-10-31, 03:58:26 by Hersir Thorsteinn »
Fall down seven, get up eight.

Sir Edward

  • Forum Admin
  • Commander of the Order
  • Forum Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,340
  • Verum et Honorem.
    • ed.toton.org
Re: Why correct action is good and awesome.
« Reply #14 on: 2012-10-31, 01:17:28 »
I'm really sorry to hear this. But not everything works out or lasts. But then again, if you still care about each other, that may mean there's still a chance for the future.
Sir Ed T. Toton III
Knight Commander, Order of the Marshal

( Personal Site | My Facebook )