The story of Sgt. Ohara and The King of The West
...as told to Cyrie Evaine Deloraine
A long long time ago, when Caid was still part of the Kingdom of the West, there was a mighty king whose name has been lost in the Mists of time, but who we will call Ivan.
King Ivan was a very big king, his mighty thews protecting all of the lands he ruled. But after fighting many battles, the king decided that he wanted some relaxation, and so he called for a tourney.
As this was so very long ago, the SCA had not yet gained its respectable reputation, and so the autocrats were having trouble finding a place to hold the tourney. Fortunately, someone thought of the Golden Gate Park, and were able to persuade the constabulary there that the SCA was a peace-loving organization that had no intention of causing any trouble. And so they obtained the piece of paper saying that we had the right to be there on a certain day, at a certain time, and everyone was happy.
But trouble was brewing over the horizon ...
Tourney day dawned bright and clear and all of the populace was cheerful at the prospect of such a fun day. Pavilions were set up, and the Eric was laid out, and soon the sound of swords and armor joined the happy noise of the minstrels. Much fun was had by all until ...
A rude noise suddenly interrupted the music and bashing. A red-faced mundane wearing a striped uniform of some sort stormed into the encampment loudly demanding to see "the one in charge." The autocrats descended upon the unchivalric lout to see what had perturbed him so greatly. He jumped up and down, shouting and waving some sort of paper .. all the autocrats could really understand was "Game" "Riot" and "Police." They tried to calm the purple-faced man down enough to get the words in context, but he stormed away shouting "I'll be back, you freaks!" He was solemnly followed by about 9 or 10 younglings dressed in identical striped outfits.
Now Sgt. Ohara was an honorable man of the local mundane constabulary. He had been enjoying a quiet day at the station, when suddenly a call came in from a hysterical man that there was a riot going on in Golden Gate Park - that a large number of armed people were threatening the passersby, and not letting the citizenry use the park as it was intended. This was so long ago, that it was during the time when rioting was fairly common, and the constables had finally gotten the equipment they needed to quench the hard-bitten flea-ridden curs who would riot upon the orderly folks.
So Sgt. Ohara gathered his men together, and they donned their new blue helmets and strapped on their new plastic shields, and picked up their new metal batons. They were ready.
Meanwhile, the tourney had continued merrily. There had been many chivalrous bouts fought, and they were about half way through the lists when all of the heralds shouted as one "HOLD!" Some sharped-eyed noble had spotted the approaching line of blue, led by the red-faced man.
King Ivan thought quickly, and shouted to his warriors "Shield Wall!" And soon the line in blue was faced by a line of armored warriors, bristling with swords and polearms, and covered thick, entirely opaque shields. Each line held its place. Eyes squinted. Silence was broken only by the hysterical man saying, "Aren't you going to arrest them?"
Then, Sgt. Ohara stepped forward, beyond his own shield wall, and asked "Who is in charge here?"
King Ivan strode forward, with his trusty herald behind him. The king stopped in front of his warriors - the crown gleamed brightly on his brow - and gestured for the herald to speak. And the herald spake, "This is the mighty King Ivan, who by the strength of his own arm won the crown of the West and defends its honor!"
Sgt. Ohara looked King Ivan up and down and up again. Being of Japanese ancestry, Sgt. Ohara was not a tall man, and King Ivan was about 6'4". Already feeling a little outclassed by professional attitude of the warriors ranked behind the king, compared to his own warriors who looked a little silly in baby blue, the Sergeant felt that perhaps diplomacy was the part of valor.
"This man," said the Sergeant, "has said that you are causing a riot, and that you are keeping he and his Team from playing their Game."
The herald answered, "Good Sir, we are as you see us, neither accosting nor threatening any creature in this place. We are having a tourney. And we have not kept this ... gentle ... from playing his game. We have a writ giving us leave to be here."
Sgt. Ohara looked nonplussed but continued, "He has a permit for this place too. Can you show me yours?"
The King snapped his fingers. The autocrat ran to get the writ, and dashed back, giving the precious paper to His Majesty with a courtsey. King Ivan then handed it to the herald, who in his best herald's voice, read the words on the piece of paper.
Sgt. Ohara was puzzled. The two pieces of paper were both for the same place at the same time. Again he asked to see the King's writ, and then he compared them. "Ah Ha!" he cried, "The king's was written out before the team's, therefore the Tourney shall continue."
"But what about the rioting?! They're a danger to society!" shouted the red-faced man. "What about our Game?"
Sgt. Ohara looked at the man and said, "They are obviously gentle folk having a good time. They are no more dangerous than you." And noting the returning hysteria, "Probably less so."
And so the San Francisco Riot Police escorted away the red-faced man and his Little League Baseball Team and found them a nice safe place to play their game.
The Tourney continued then. And fun was had by all. Including the constables, who came back and watched and cheered on the fighters.
Topic: A (mostly) True Story of Knights, Kings, and Constable's. (Read 10337 times)