Life. (be prepared for reading)

[Leganoth]

Alright well Im posting this asking opinions, and for help.

So my girlfriend (now ex) broke up with me 2 weeks ago because her reasons were "i dont want us to treat eachother bad after a year"
Prior to this, starting in October, she started getting friendly with one of my "friends" ive known him for years, never trusted him, there was always somthing about him. They became friends, she started talking to him more than me, she would text him all day at my house, she would text him instead of me when she couldnt sleep at night. Finally I said, hey what the f**k do you like him, she says no, i knew this motherf*cker liked her by now. Skip to early december, shes still talking to him, this time, its behind my back, i walk her to the front of school once it ends, i ask if she is going to talk to him, she says no, she walks away, i secretly stalk her to find out she goes with him everyday after school, some days i would go to the library because thats where all the "cool" kids go to get picked up, i would see them talking and start yelling(?) at her for it, the guy would see me and walk away really fast because he knew i wanted to beat him up for this. December 7, she doesnt go to my birthday party, only my best friend goes, shitty birthday. Mid december its still going on, the stress is getting to me physically, she doesnt care, that day i see her and him talking and walking together, i go to the police station and ask to go to hospital because my body and head were hurting so much, they call her over, i find out she went with him to eat at some fast food place, get even more mad at that. Stayed in a hospital for 2 weeks for depression and anger. She visits me a few times, everything was great, happiest we'd been in months. But one day i let the paranoia of her and him get to me and try to look through her phone, she wont let me see it, get even more paranoid, she leaves.

She said we were 99% to get back together, the next few days i was so angry at everything. When i got out i went into homeschool (and so did she to help with that situation) i still have to see a therapist cause of all this. the relationship was still bumpy.

Heres the best part, the other day she deletes my facebook page, adds that guy and his dickhead friends again, the main guy is fliriting with her, another guy is, (remember shes doing this about a week after we breakup) she is so happy to be talking to these guys again for some reason, she knows he ruined our relationship but she still talks to him.  Forgot to mention, during the times at school there were rumors of her cheating on me with him, she said it wasnt true, still says its not true. I dont believe it.

In the end, after i read the conversations she had with him, on facebook atleast, who knows what there saying on texts. In the end, i left her a nasty message on her voicemail cause she never answers my phonecalls anymore for the past few months, i left her a nasty voicemail, and told her that I cheated on HER, but I never did. I said that to get her mad, make her feel bad, as revenge, and so she would NEVER speak to me again.

Opinions on what i should do? Similiar stories?

Whenever i think of it I feel as if there was a fire building inside of me, the inside of me starts getting really warm and i get into a rage

[Sir Brian]

hmm, why do you let her keep a space in your head? You are both teenagers, YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DATE DIFFERENT PEOPLE - Preferably a LOT of them! 
Five years from now you will be amazed at how much time and energy you wasted on the unworthy wench. Ten years from now you won't even be able to remember her name. Mark it down to experience and move on with your life, the best revenge is going on living your own life to the fullest and let her live hers. If you truly had any feelings for her you will be gracious, gregarious and noble of spirit towards her. - That is not only manly but knightly as well. 

[Leganoth]

i dont know brian, its just i think about how morally wrong it is to do that i guess

[Thorsteinn]

#1) At least you didn't move from Reno, NV to Middle-Of-Nowheresville, SD for her on a lie like I did last year.

#2) You are still in High School. Drama like this is why the rest of us are glad we are done with it.

#3) What is the knightly, chivalrous way to be? What ever that is, be that. Stand-up guys don't make snarky or vicious comments online about the ones the profesed to love who hurt them. They act cool and keep going.

It is harder to be Knightly in Loss than in Success but it is loss that defines who you are at your core not Success. Defeat is where we show our true nature.

To quote the thread I linked to:

"You don't know me, son, so let me put this to you plainly: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake. You'll be facing me. And you'll be armed."

Mal Reynolds was a Knight, he just didn't know it.

I feel like I was dating Saffron.

"No Mal, I pretty much stabbed you in the front!"

-Ivan

[Leganoth]

I guess its just hard to be knightly in situations like this, sometimes anger gets a hold of you

[Thorsteinn]

And that is why the test is so important.

Do you test a Shield by merely wearing it?

A Sword by merely polishing it?

A Helm by merely looking at it?

... Your Honor by merely talking about it?

-Ivan

Diagnosed with a MD-NOS Severe Emotional Handicap (strongest in Anger, Frustration, Hate, & Love) in 1991 and Aspergers Syndrome in 2002.

Who has also spent more than his share of time in the loony bin.

[Sir Ulrich]

I got issues up the yin yang with women. I am so damn picky I never dated anyone I knew IRL or bothered to even get to know any due to my long for wanting a woman who was NOT American. Mostly has to do with my attraction to European women along with my long to "not be American" and associate myself and my future kids with a culture of Europe, which is what I identify as European not American due the vast medieval history base there as well as reenacting me 100X better than it is here over there. Currently dating a girl from Germany but I'm fed up with her ignoring the crap out of me so I am ready to dump her ass. I am normally rather chivalrous but I don't waste my chivalry and love on ingrates who don't deserve it. I used to and just got used, getting burned multiple times and hurt and being the "nice guy" who gets walked all over and treated like a doormat will make you become inherently selfish angry and bitter and start to lose your morals as you gradually become a darker bitter soul like I have been becoming.

[Sir Edward]

Boy, I don't know if I'm the right one to give advice on women. I was dreadfully single all through high school and most of college.

But Sir Brian speaks great truth above. The entire culture that you're used to from High School is confined to just that place. College is different, and the outside world is different from that too. Once a few years go by, none of what is bothering you now will have any lasting impact on who you become and what you do from there.

That doesn't make it any easier, of course. What you're facing right now is your current reality. But in the grand scheme of things, it won't matter, and you'll be just like the rest of us--- glad to be done with school and away from the stupidity and drama.

Some people never grow out of it, but most do. In the meantime, try to be the person you want to be. Be knightly. Be a rock that can not be budged by these people. If someone is lying to you and mistreating you, they're not worthy of being your friend, so you can move on, and do so proudly.

Don't let other people control you. Yes, it'll make you angry, but you'll find that it's within your control to let go of it, and not let them get to you (especially because there are others out there who will be much better for you, and it's best to find out what kind of person they are sooner rather than later!)

Believe me, I've been down the "dark and bitter" path. I was the nice guy who never got noticed by girls. I got depressed. It almost ruined me.

But you know what? It's not worth it, and you have the power to be who you want to be, and not associate with people who are simply poisonous.

It takes time, but once you get past the "my wants and my needs" way of thinking, and instead look at "what can I offer", it'll get easier. Not to mention the fact that a lot of teenage girls really have their heads screwed on backwards, and don't get it straightened out until about age 20 or 25. So hold strong and be patient. As hard as that is to do.

[SirNathanQ]

I am extremely blessed that I have found a honorable and noble lady that appreciates chivalry, but I do know the feeling. I myself in earlier years played the part of unnoticed nice guy. It is one of the most tragic roles ever cast in the show that is life.

I would urge you to leave her behind. Forget her. Rise above all the filth she brings into your life. The girl is causing you to compromise on your Chivalric morals and values. Just as the Bible urges one to do away with anything that is causing them to sin, a knight should do away with anything that causes him to (or makes him want to) break a tenant of Chivalry.

Will you rise above this, leave it behind and find a lady who appreciates knighthood and chivalry, and is willing to abide by it, or will you let this break your chivalry in a petty game of meanness, lies and deciet? 
This is a test of your Chivalry. Can you rise to the challenge?   

[Leganoth]

Not to mention the fact that a lot of teenage girls really have their heads screwed on backwards, and don't get it straightened out until about age 20 or 25. So hold strong and be patient. As hard as that is to do.

Boy is that true. The bad thing is that, youll go out with a girl, then all of a sudden her personality will change 100% from what you met her as. But whatever then if they cant see the good in other people and want to go out with some asshole that thinks hes cool cause he smokes and drinks and dresses like a gangster when hes not then thats fine with me, that just shows me their judgment. (im basing that off what girls at  my school like)

[Sir James A]

#2) You are still in High School. Drama like this is why the rest of us are glad we are done with it.

This will be hard advice for it to sink in, but it's great advice. High school is the most important time of your life; until you're out. College is the most important time of your life; until you're out. About the only thing I look back on from my high school days that I even give two farts about is when I got into a fight defending a friend of mine; it's when I really stepped out of the shadows and into the role of "protector". Aside from that, I don't keep in touch with anyone from those days, with the exception of two people; two brothers who grew up across the street from me, and I've known them since 4th grade.

My personal opinion is to forget about her completely and move on. If I've learned anything about relationships over the years, and I feel I have learned a lot through great examples, it's that there are things that have no place in relationships: Control, Conflict, and Cheating.

If she is constantly choosing another to turn to for support and attention over you, that is her choice, and reflects upon her character; not yours. You can't force her to change, and you shouldn't try. Simply move on, and find someone better suited to a good relationship.

If you don't trust her enough to be faithful and honest, it's another sign things will only get worse. Simply move on, and find someone better suited to a good relationship.

If you've reached the level where you're having physical and/or mental issues because of her ...  simply move on, and find someone better suited to a good relationship.

Based just on your post, and not knowing anyone else involved, it sounds like you need to move on and leave her behind. It also sounds like your "friend" that she has been going behind your back with is anything *but* a friend. Leave them both behind.

While the voicemail about cheating may have made you feel better, the biggest lie you can tell is when you lie to yourself. At your age, I may have done the same if I was ever in that situation. Moving forwards, try not to; when relationships don't work, it's not even worth trying to find blame; some people simply aren't compatible, even if they are both generally "good" people. You have to find your match. When you do, you'll find nothing but happiness. While you will likely travel your fair share of rough road, the difference between a good relationship and bad is that while the bad relationship will be part of the rough road in and of itself where you may see different paths, in the good relationship you will find yourself walking the bad road along with your significant other and dealing with the issues of life, drawing strength from your relationship, instead of losing your strength by dealing with the relationship.

Some girls will grow up, some won't. Some will always like the "bad boy" that smokes and drinks, and that's their prerogative. If that's the case, and that's not you, simply keep moving on until you find the girl who likes you for who you are. If there are no girls like that right now, it's an ideal time to focus on school / work and other things. It's very cliche, but the hardest time to find someone is when you are looking. If you simply go about life, you might meet someone when you least expect it; and if they're doing the same thing you are, you've already got a common interest.

The worst thing you can do is try to be someone you are not to be in a relationship with someone who likes you for being someone that you are not. Take this last experience as an opportunity to learn what to look for and what to avoid, hold your head high knowing that you are not the cause of the problems, and move on to better things and better times ... and they will come.

[Leganoth]

Hopefully what your saying is true, i guess ill just have to wait it out and see what happens then

[Sir James A]

Hopefully what your saying is true, i guess ill just have to wait it out and see what happens then

It's true based on my experiences. It might not be 100% for you, but that's how it's gone for me so far (I'm 32). My grandparents were married 50-some years before my grandfather passed away. My aunt & uncle have been married 52 years. My mom & dad have been married for 38 years. I've learned a lot from their examples.

[Sir Edward]

Sir James does indeed speak the truth, from what I've seen. It's hard to see it when you're surrounded by high-schoolers, but as time goes on, it gets easier.

[Sir Ulrich]

I found my GF's IRL facebook and she's been online recently on it. I am debating on confronting her by messaging her there and asking her why she hasnt been online in a whole month. It's really eating at me though, I feel like if I confront her she's gonna get mad at me for "stalking her".