Secret love affairs and chivalry

[Sir Edward]

This is an aspect of knightly life that we often don't consider (and probably with good reason). However, it's interesting to look at what life must have been like for knights, who within the bounds of chivalry and courtly behavior, were having secret affairs with married women.

http://www.hyw.com/books/history/Chivalry.htm

[Sir William]

Right, because their honor and chivalry basically forbade such...and yet, they were also human.  I'll have to check that link later on tonight if I get on...thanks for sharing, Sir Edward.

[Sir Rodney]

A book that can provide some additional background on this subject is The Medieval Art of Love : Objects and Subjects of Desire by Michael Camille.  It's been years since I've read this book so the details escape me at the moment.  I do have a general recollection that it's a worthwhile read.  It looks as if this book will have to work its way back into my queue.

[Sir William]

Rodney, maybe you can add to the Library's list of books...I'm compiling them so if you get a moment, let me know what you've got in the way of medieval literature and I'll add the listing to the archive. 

[Sir Rodney]

Rodney, maybe you can add to the Library's list of books...I'm compiling them so if you get a moment, let me know what you've got in the way of medieval literature and I'll add the listing to the archive. 

I keep my medieval library fairly up to date on myArmoury in the books section located here.

...

I've just noticed that an abbreviated, easy to use (copy and paste) list can only viewed if I'm actually logged in.  Otherwise, you're stuck with 10 books per page with photographs of the cover art.  Let me know if you're unable to get the tidy little list and I'll work some cut & paste magic for you.

[Sir William]

And so I shall, thanks.

[Sir James A]

Rodney, maybe you can add to the Library's list of books...I'm compiling them so if you get a moment, let me know what you've got in the way of medieval literature and I'll add the listing to the archive. 

Here's a link to the books I have, though not all have been read yet: http://www.james-anderson-iii.com/library/pages/books

Most of them are available through Amazon, and I linked them from my page if I could find them. I have it broken down by topic, and I haven't added the "Castle" section yet.

This is an aspect of knightly life that we often don't consider (and probably with good reason). However, it's interesting to look at what life must have been like for knights, who within the bounds of chivalry and courtly behavior, were having secret affairs with married women.

http://www.hyw.com/books/history/Chivalry.htm

Is that the correct link? I see a one-liner that mentions pillage, raping and burning, but nothing else that talks about secret love affairs.

[Sir Edward]

Yes, it was just a short reference on the page:

Much of what has passed down to us regarding chivalry has to do with that aspect of it involving noble men pursuing other mens wives. The "rules" for this game are roughly as follows;

1 Worship of the chosen lady

2 Declaration of passionate devotion

3 Virtuous rejection by the lady

4 Renewed wooing with oaths of eternal fealty

5 Moans of approaching death from unsatisfied desire

6 Heroic deeds of valor which win the lady's heart

7 Consummation of the secret love

8 Endless adventures and subterfuges

9 Tragic denouement

Item 6 was often played out at tournaments , where the lady in question could watch her lover roar through the lists and make his mark jousting. Item 7 often took place the evening after the brave kinght won the tournament. Item 8 involved trying to keep the lady's husband in the dark and item 9 was the result of the husband discovering he was a cuckold.

[Sir Edward]

Another description of "courtly love" that describes the adulterous context of it.

http://condor.depaul.edu/dsimpson/tlove/courtlylove.html

It really is remarkable how much we need to keep the medieval mindset in mind, and not our own cultural values, when studying history.

[Sir William]

Amazing how far we've come and yet, still so far to go, eh?

[Joshua Santana]

In addition to this, I agree that Chivalry forbade adultery and fornication which was teh basic tenet of Courtly Love.

In my world literature college course, we are learning medieval literature which a focus of Marie de France.

I have read two of her stories: Laustic and Lanaval. (I am sure I misspelled the first title)

Luastic had the courtly love theme as it talked about two knights, one was married, the other single.  The single knight and the first knight's wife are in love with each other, but the husband gets suspicious.  The wife uses the nightingale as a cover, the husband kills the bird and the wife is sad because she cannot relay her message to her lover via the nightingale.  She sends the remains to her lover and the knight keeps it in a small golden casket and carries it with him everyday.

The moral of the story (to me) is simple: don't cheat, just don't!

But in relevance to courtly love, I see as the proper way to secretly cheat.  It is only good in relationships, but it is a disastrous recipe for marriage! 

On a note, the only "bridge" between Courtly Love and Chivalry would be the Virtue of Courtesy.  But Courtesy in the Chivalric sense is a form of expression to show people that we have a good heart and good, authentic, genuine character.  But Courtesy is not an absolute Virtue in Chivalry.

To recap and explain on what I see as the absolute Virtues of Chivalry (the traditional five) are Prowess, Courage, Honor, Faith and  Generosity.

With this in mind, it is impossible to be involved in a extramarital affair, because being chivalrous sets us apart for the right lady love who would best embody the virtues of nobility, grace and honor.

This is my take on this subject.

(another side note is that I find Lanval to be a more interesting story than Laustic, there is honor within that story, probably one of Marie de France's best narrative poems.)

Enjoy!

At Your Service,
Sir Joshua Santana, Knight of The Lion Blade     

[Sir James A]

Very sell said, Sir Joshua!