The Brave Squire.
One year at Pennsic three Knights, one from the Kingdom of the East, one from the Kingdom of the Middle, and one from the Kingdom of the West, were sitting around bullsh***ing Philosophizing and up came the subject of whose squire was "bravest".
The Knight of the East said "Tis True! Mine is the bravest squire of all!" "Oh yeah?",said the other two, "Prove it!" "OK... Squire!" "Yes Sir!" "Squire... do you see the King of the Middle all surrounded by his bodyguard?" "Yes Sir." "Well.. Go get him!" "Yes Sir!"
And the Squire put on his kit ran off to attack the King and was promptly thrubbed soundly by said Kings bodyguard. He crawled back to his lord and said "My Lord I have tried to do as you command but the Middle Kings bodyguard was too much for me and I failed" "That's OK Squire. Good try. Now go get some water, and rest up"
The Knight of the Middle said "That's nothing. Mine is surely the bravest squire of all. Watch this... Squire!" "Yes Sir!" "Squire... do you see the King of the West all surrounded by his huskarls who are then surrounded by the Western Army?" "Yes Sir?" "Well.. Go get him!" "Yes Sir!"
And the Squire put on his kit ran off to attack the King and was promptly thrubbed soundly by said King as his Army and then the huskarls parted so as not to deny their King the pleasure of whomping this lunatic. The Squire stumbled back to his lord and said "My Lord I have tried to do as you command but the Western King was too much for me and I failed" "That's OK Squire. You did well. Go take a break."
The Knight of the West said "Y'all ain't seen nothing yet. I'll show YOU a brave Squire. Watch this... squire....Squire!....SQUIRE!!!!!" "WHAT?! What do you want now?!" "Squire... fetch me a beer." "What the..? Who broke your legs? Get your own damn beer!"
And with that the Western Knight stood up, strapped on his sword, put on his helm, picked up his shield and turned and said "Now you see that? That is a Brave Squire!".
