This is something that has been bothering me for awhile, and was actually one of the reasons I joined this forum. I'm not sure if this is something that is considered ok to ask, but here goes wall of text incoming.
I've been interested in SCA armored combat since I walked by my local groups defender tournament last year, but my progress towards getting on the field has been painfully slow. Most of the issue is that compared to the other fighters in my barony I am something of an outlier. I am short and skinny with a body built for speed and precision hits, on the other hand most of the fighters are a good head or two taller than me, with a focus on strength and attrition based fighting.
I've been able to get close enough fitting loaner armor a few times, and every time I get out on the practice field I simply cannot make the local style fit with my body. The local preference is for the "iron chicken" stance with a large viking round shield, and no stabs. When I try to do as I am shown I have severe difficulty generating power from just my arm. What feels right to me is to stand off center from my opponent with my shield side foot pointed at them, and my shield slightly angled with the edge towards them, sword over my shoulder, and using the rotation of my core to generate the power for the shot. I've tried to do this with loaner shields, but every time I wind up hurting my wrist trying to hold the viking rounds in this manner.
The other issue I've been having has been with getting proper gear. I've had to make my own for the most part because finding used armor even close to my size has been next to impossible, and buying it has been out of my college student price range for all but the most essential items (helmet and gauntlets). so I've spent the past year working on my kit at a local makerspace to try to have something worthwhile. but this delay has left me feeling rather fake.
I feel like an impostor, saying that I want to be a fighter, but not actually getting out on the field. People ask me if I'm interested in fighting and I say yes because it is true, but I still feel fake, like some miles gloriosus in a period play. I say I want to fight, then I'm told there is loaner armor, and I politely turn it down. Not because I'm not interested in fighting, but because if I wear that loaner armor and try to throw a shot the poor fit and heavy shield is going to sprain my wrists again. I don't have the stomach to tell the other fighters why. Here they are offering to let me use their armor, how can I insult them by telling them that their perfectly good armor won't work for me?
I said that this was one of the reasons I joined the forums, and this is why, I'm ashamed to bring this up in the facebook groups, I'm ashamed to mention that I am struggling. I don't really know if this is the same thing most new fighters go through, and I'm ashamed to bring it up if it isn't.
I'm not positing this to whine or to complain, that won't solve anything, I need advice, on any of this. what should I do? should I stay on the sidelines until my armor is finished? should I try to use a different style to the other fighters? should I let my barony know about my issues with the loaner armor? please, any advice you have on the topic would be very much appreciated.