ModernChivalry trip to Dupont Castle

[Sir James A]

You know, I like this...always wanted my own castle.  Trying to talk my wife into it...she'd allow stone facing on any house we get...but no parapets or murderholes, alas. 

Try calling the murder holes "tickle holes" and tell her it's for tickling opponents with really long feathers. I bet it's the "murder" thing she's opposed to.

[Sir William]

Tickle holes...that'll go over well.  Then she'll want to know who I'll be tickling from so far up!  lol

[Sir Edward]

OK, then make them Kitten Holes... it's the holes through which the kittens can come and visit your castle.

[Sir William]

You know what?  That would make it worse and I'll tell you why...our first cat, Maxx, (an all black beauty) was one of those roamers who always knew how to come home.  When we moved, my wife decided he would be a housecat because 'that gang of ruffians' (read: feral cats) were not about to jump her baby.  Well, he did used to come out on the deck with me when I go for a smoke break so he could still be kinda outside.  Well, one night he was attacked by another black cat and it was dark and I didn't know which one to hit so I'm yelling at the top of my lungs 'get off of my cat!' - Maxx lost a tooth in that battle somehow and I couldn't tell who got the worst of it (he was all hissy for hours afterward)- anyway, all that to say, the kitten holes would be denounced before I even got it out of my mouth good.  LOL

Now, if I were to call them 'mysterious handbag holes' - that might work.