ModernChivalry.org
Miscellaneous => The Sallyport => Topic started by: SirNathanQ on 2011-02-22, 17:02:10
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I'm sure we are all familiar with the infamous "You know you've been into armour too long when you" thread at MyArmoury, so I thought to make a ModernChivalry version! ;D
(Here's the thread) http://www.myarmoury.com/talk/viewtopic.php?t=5758&highlight=you+swords+armor+armour+long
Here's some of mine:
When the history teacher turns over the class to you for anything military related
When the school board has actually redefined the term bladed weapon just to keep your toys out
When no one gives you surprised looks when you walk about in full harness anymore
When on your second day of high school you are already referred to as the "Sword Kid"
When you feel slightly annoyed when viewing pictures on the wall because they are taking up all the sword's rightful space
When you start wondering what the heck some car manufacturers were thinking when they were fluting the body.....
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Hehe, a true story for me: Someone was talking about their new baby and the need for a good bassinet. I wanted to know why they needed a helmet for the baby, and they had to explain that they were talking about a "bassinet" and not a "bascinet". :)
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Here are some good ones from the original thread on myarmoury
You know that you´ve been into armour for too long;
When at the restaurant you ask "if the 'Main Salad' is raised from one piece?"
When you see a beautiful woman in a corset but all you think of is a plackart.
When you start to feel scorn towards stainless steel, in general, not just when armour is made from it.
When you laugh at todays clothing and their lack of absorption from sword-blows.
When 'mail' is no longer letters on your doorstep..
When you start to spell "e-mail", "e-maille".
When you walk down to the store and feel the awkward emptiness of not having a weapon by your side.
When getting beaten with a rattan-pole for two hours are synonymous to "a good time".
When the smell of oil, metal and leather is the smell of home.
When a historical timeline is sorted not by decades but by armour-designs.
When you know more about the fashion in 1405 then in 2005.
When you accidently walk in to your office wearing pauldrons.
When you look at a VW bug and think "Heh, I can take it."
When buying a car you reprimand the the manufacturers for making so many chinks in the body.
When you attend Pennsic Razz
When in a physical confrontation you yell "Squire! fetch my cuirass!"
When you tie pots and pans to your legs because you miss the sound of clanking metal.
When you forget how zippers work.
When you wear a kettle hat to the beach.
When you absentmindedly toss a load of maille into the washing machine.
When you turn your ballcap around backwards "for better visibility", and for that German Sallet tail feel on your neck.
When, while at the museum IN the armour exhibit and are asked to read the plackard, you closely examine the breastplate for marks or engravings, neglecting the little card beside it.
When shopping for new boots, you consider if they'll fit inside your greaves and sabatons.
When suddenly a college marching band uniform is quite light.
When you know someone as 'Sir Edmund of Caddington' but 4 years later, you still don't know his real name.
When a clarinet could somehow double as a javelin or saxophone as a war hammer.
When that small device on your belt is your dagger and not your cell phone.
When your friends say "see you later," and you say "fare thee well."
When you see Obi-Wan's lightsaber and say "that could be a Type XVII."
When you accidentally strike the ceiling fan with your sword and you're more worried about damaging the fan.
When everything you buy online comes from 'Mike' or 'Craig.'
When the only state flag you recognize is Maryland's.
When bread and water really is a meal.
When someone asks you if your sword is real and you respond with "you mean is it functional?"
When you try to convince your child's football coach to break up their line with a cavalry charge.
When you start cooking your meals in your old pot helm.
When rust starts to form on your skin.
When you can write some of these jokes out of personal experience.
When you forget to take off your gauntlet before shaking hands with your boss.
When you have to remember to take off your gauntlets before shaking hands with your boss.
When you show up at your friend's wedding in your best, newly polished harness.
When you are dragged out of a movie theatre because you keep telling the guy beside you all of the defensive holes in King Arthurs fighting style.
When you chase a fly around your house, greave in hand.
When you take 9 hours going through the metal detectors at the airport.
When you take 12 hours trying to explain to the customs agents you are on your way to an SCA event.
When you take 34 hours to regain consciousness after you exclaim "I am a knight of the East Kingdom! Have at you!"
When, on the night before Christmas, visions of Albions dance in your head.
When you want to name your first son Ewart, Hans, Fiore etc. (actually, make that first child)
When you find yourself smirking or laughing at dramatic swordplay.
When you buy a suit a few sizes too large to accomodate a gambeson.
When you have trouble with Roman numerals up to X and after XXII.
When, in your library, you actually have a 'Chivalry Bookshelf'.
When the only German you know is words such as 'oberhau'.
When you find wearing a belt to be instinctive.
When you wear greaves and sabatons to soccer (football) matches.
If you are disappointed when you learn that the bayonet is not a soldier's primary weapon.
When you wonder why people are swimming with cutting targets.
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Haha, the exact same thing happened to me, but my first reaction wasn't why would you need one, but where could I get one?
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if you go to any event and someone says "my friend Chuck" and you know who there talking about, you've been in it too long
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When you overhear your wife tell your children "No swordplay in the house, take it outside" and not even blink.
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Haha, Sir Wolf, that's great! :D
Sir Rodney, double points if that is followed with something along the lines of "and put that down! Only blunts for sparring! Those are for cutting practice!"
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When you draw a sword and twirl it in the air, simply because you can- and then register the slightly shocked/horrified looks of your guests, whom you'd completely forgotten were even there for that moment...THAT is when you've been at it too long.
My friend's wife, after a shocked silence: 'What the hell? Are we under attack?'
Her husband just looked at her...he knew what was up. Nothin. I was just doin like I normally do...doesn't bother the Wife or the Cat so I tend to forget about anyone else's sensitivities. I guess to her, it was the equivalent of pulling out a pistol and spinning it before reholstering?
I just like the feel of a sword in hand better than w/out.
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Sir Rodney, double points if that is followed with something along the lines of "and put that down! Only blunts for sparring! Those are for cutting practice!"
At this point (4 and 6 years of age) they only have foam "boffers". My son will be receiving his first (downsized) waster this summer. That's when we'll have the all important "treat it as a real sword" talk. ;)
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Lol you guys got some good ones! :D
Good idea starting this topic Sir Nathan, I had completly forgotten about the one on MyArmoury. Here's a few of mine...
When you room is sometimes reffered to as "The armoury".
When you wear a jack during winter instead of a jacket.
When you consider wearing clothing from 500 years ago "normal".
When having a room/closet full of weapons is not weird at all.
When your "My Pictures" folder might aswell be renamed "My Armour Pic's".
When eating with your fingers at the table isn't rude, it's "period".
When you frequently refer to the 15th century as "My time period" by accident.
When you are the only person your friends know who has a sword cut on their hand.
When peacefull hikes turn into "armed excursions".
When you feel off balance without a sword on your hip.
When your idea of a dream home is in fact a 600 year old millitary installation.
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You can also tell you have been into this too long when the most important talk you have with your children concerning their safety isn't the "Gun" talk, but the bladed weapon/polearm talk.....
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Haha, Robert, I actually do keep referring to the 15th century as "My period" by habit
Some more from the original thread...
When the main reason you worry about gaining weight is that your armour won't fit anymore.
When doing curls at the gym you worry about just exactly how big are the sleeves of your hauberk.
When daydreaming on public transport you go through all the different combinations of armour pieces you could wear from lightly armoured to piling on every piece you could possibly put on at the same time.
When one of your checked bags is always a long aluminum case... or two. (this one's fun at the airport!)
When your "first aid" kit contains rivets, buckles, spare leather straps, a small anvil...
When the UPS guy hangs around for you to open the long white box.
When you wander to the football/lacrosse section of the sporting goods store to check out the articulation of athletic protective gear.
When you see the Budweiser Clydesdales, and think they'd be better off in barding than pulling a beer cart.
When your daughter's boyfriend comes over for the first time, and instead of cleaning guns, you're oiling a sword.
When the arms and armour collection gets the master bedroom.
When you head out to the yard, armed and armoured, and the neighbors just wave, completely unphased.
When you instinctively try the balance and swing of every long object in your vicinity.
-when you can be heard discussing hand-stitching with your mates over a beer at the pub.
-You use your helmet when it rains, because it's waterproof.
-Your buy a shock proof cell phone, so you won't have to take it out of your pocket when you fight.
-The most fun part of RPGs is making fun of the weapons list and combat system.
and of course:
When the Zombies first appear, and everyone else runs of in panic, you fall to your knees, raise your hands towards the heavens, and go "YES! YES! YES!!!!!"
When you vacuum in the Plow-stance
When you see pointy, unlaced womens-shoes and actually consider
wearing them, as a cheap alternative to turn-shoes.
When Vivaldi and Bach is modern music that feels too "new".
When parks and meadows are since long not a place for
rest and recreation but for armoured violence.
When you use the proverb "there is no time like the past".
My personal favorite from that thread has been: "When parks and meadows are long since not a place for
rest and recreation but for armoured violence."
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heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey that weight thing isnt funny! hehehe
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"When the main reason you worry about gaining weight is that your armour won't fit anymore."
With how long most commissions take, that's my primary concern!
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Unfortunately for me, it is also a concern (the gaining/losing of weight). lol
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Yes, this happens to be my concern too......
.....anyone think were on to a new diet plan here? ;D ;D ;D
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"When you start to feel scorn towards stainless steel, in general, not just when armour is made from it."
This also applies to when you are becoming like Julia Child. :D