Miscellaneous > The Sallyport
Life. (be prepared for reading)
Leganoth:
I guess but still haha, a little old to pull that card
Sir William:
Not at all, not at all. Your point of view may change once you're on your own responsible for paying your own rent, bills, car note, insurance, etc etc. I left home on my 18th birthday because I figured I was 'too old' to have to adhere to such rules- but I left and moved into my own place in order to do so. In retrospect, I guess I'm lucky I didn't get into more trouble as a young man considering...but had I stayed home, chances are I wouldn't have gotten into any trouble and life could've been a bit different.
I have no regrets- and having raised two children of my own I can tell you- my house, my rules. If my 21 year old daughter wanted to come live w/me, she understands that the rules come with it. Same with my soon-to-be 18 year old...she lives w/her mother and is subject to her ruleset but if she lived w/me, it'd be mine. As a parent, it is our responsibility to think about, and in some cases, worry about some of the decisions and actions our kids will face and be a part of- which is why there are rules in the first place. You let a kid have free reign and you'll have trouble on your hands. I know grown people, in their 30s who still live w/their parents...perhaps at that age, the rules might need to be altered, but I wonder at the sanity of parents who would let their kids still live at home at that advanced age. Could not, would not be me!
Sir Edward:
--- Quote from: Leganoth on 2012-05-09, 05:40:19 --- Yeah we are trying to work somthing out for me and her only, but I will see her at the faire this weekend.
--- End quote ---
Something to keep in mind of course is that the "grounding" might also be an excuse. This isn't automatically the case by any means, but young women in particular will often make excuses to avoid telling you they've changed their mind. It's a possibility that's worth being prepared for. If that sort of thing happens, you can always ask her out again, and if she has another excuse, then you have your answer and can move on (and don't feel bad about it at all, as it just means it's time to look elsewhere and bears no other reflection on you).
Hopefully this isn't the case, and she really was grounded, but I thought it was worth mentioning. We've all been there at one time or another.
My general rule of thumb has been to take people at face-value at first, and then once you start to see a pattern emerge, then you're getting to see the truth. :)
Good luck and have a great time at the faire this weekend!
Sir James A:
--- Quote from: Sir Edward on 2012-05-10, 13:32:53 ---Something to keep in mind of course is that the "grounding" might also be an excuse.
--- End quote ---
Agreed, I was nudging at that thought as a possibility earlier:
--- Quote from: James Anderson III on 2012-05-09, 01:06:52 ---If she's not allowed out, but can talk on the phone / internet, chat with her a bit, try to set up a "raincheck" date for next week (or whenever).
--- End quote ---
SirNathanQ:
Yeah, even as a kid I can agree with the "my roof my rules" thing. They pay for basically everything, you live there for free. The least you can do is listen to what some folks with your best intrests at heart (and a ton more of life experience) say. Though that doesn't and shouldn't mean you don't get a say at all. Kids should be allowed to negotiate and at least present their side of the issue.
Also, age isn't that big of an issue. Look at some long-tern couples ages. Heck, I once had a summer fling with a 19 year old when I was 14. Age isn't a factor, maturity is.
Anyway, I'd take her word that she's grounded. If she dos that or somethign similer again, though, you might have a problem.
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