Miscellaneous > The Sallyport

Life. (be prepared for reading)

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Sir James A:

--- Quote from: RauttSkegg on 2012-03-30, 00:05:57 ---#2) You are still in High School. Drama like this is why the rest of us are glad we are done with it.
--- End quote ---

This will be hard advice for it to sink in, but it's great advice. High school is the most important time of your life; until you're out. College is the most important time of your life; until you're out. About the only thing I look back on from my high school days that I even give two farts about is when I got into a fight defending a friend of mine; it's when I really stepped out of the shadows and into the role of "protector". Aside from that, I don't keep in touch with anyone from those days, with the exception of two people; two brothers who grew up across the street from me, and I've known them since 4th grade.

My personal opinion is to forget about her completely and move on. If I've learned anything about relationships over the years, and I feel I have learned a lot through great examples, it's that there are things that have no place in relationships: Control, Conflict, and Cheating.

If she is constantly choosing another to turn to for support and attention over you, that is her choice, and reflects upon her character; not yours. You can't force her to change, and you shouldn't try. Simply move on, and find someone better suited to a good relationship.

If you don't trust her enough to be faithful and honest, it's another sign things will only get worse. Simply move on, and find someone better suited to a good relationship.

If you've reached the level where you're having physical and/or mental issues because of her ...  simply move on, and find someone better suited to a good relationship.

Based just on your post, and not knowing anyone else involved, it sounds like you need to move on and leave her behind. It also sounds like your "friend" that she has been going behind your back with is anything *but* a friend. Leave them both behind.

While the voicemail about cheating may have made you feel better, the biggest lie you can tell is when you lie to yourself. At your age, I may have done the same if I was ever in that situation. Moving forwards, try not to; when relationships don't work, it's not even worth trying to find blame; some people simply aren't compatible, even if they are both generally "good" people. You have to find your match. When you do, you'll find nothing but happiness. While you will likely travel your fair share of rough road, the difference between a good relationship and bad is that while the bad relationship will be part of the rough road in and of itself where you may see different paths, in the good relationship you will find yourself walking the bad road along with your significant other and dealing with the issues of life, drawing strength from your relationship, instead of losing your strength by dealing with the relationship.

Some girls will grow up, some won't. Some will always like the "bad boy" that smokes and drinks, and that's their prerogative. If that's the case, and that's not you, simply keep moving on until you find the girl who likes you for who you are. If there are no girls like that right now, it's an ideal time to focus on school / work and other things. It's very cliche, but the hardest time to find someone is when you are looking. If you simply go about life, you might meet someone when you least expect it; and if they're doing the same thing you are, you've already got a common interest.

The worst thing you can do is try to be someone you are not to be in a relationship with someone who likes you for being someone that you are not. Take this last experience as an opportunity to learn what to look for and what to avoid, hold your head high knowing that you are not the cause of the problems, and move on to better things and better times ... and they will come. :)

Leganoth:
Hopefully what your saying is true, i guess ill just have to wait it out and see what happens then

Sir James A:

--- Quote from: Leganoth on 2012-03-31, 21:18:13 ---Hopefully what your saying is true, i guess ill just have to wait it out and see what happens then

--- End quote ---

It's true based on my experiences. It might not be 100% for you, but that's how it's gone for me so far (I'm 32). My grandparents were married 50-some years before my grandfather passed away. My aunt & uncle have been married 52 years. My mom & dad have been married for 38 years. I've learned a lot from their examples.

Sir Edward:

Sir James does indeed speak the truth, from what I've seen. It's hard to see it when you're surrounded by high-schoolers, but as time goes on, it gets easier.

Sir Ulrich:
I found my GF's IRL facebook and she's been online recently on it. I am debating on confronting her by messaging her there and asking her why she hasnt been online in a whole month. It's really eating at me though, I feel like if I confront her she's gonna get mad at me for "stalking her".

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