ModernChivalry.org
Main => The Round Table => Topic started by: Mike W. on 2016-01-25, 02:36:18
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I learned a very valuable lesson today. One that I've learned many times but neglected to remember and practice.
I woke up today to find that in the absence of my HOA actually addressing the snow problem, the entire community came together to help each other unbury from the 2.5ft of snow we received here in MD. One neighbor loaned us her snow blower and gas (and supplied us with ample beverages) and everyone else supplied manpower. I shamefully admit, had I not seen everyone else helping, I would have stayed indoors. But I dragged my ass outside and shoveled *my* walk and unburied *my* car which was tedious and exhausting work. But once I started helping others unbury their cars, people who had to go to work tomorrow, I noticed how much rewarding it felt And suddenly my energy levels and cold tolerance went through the roof. I found new encouragement and reward in knowing I was helping someone who needed it much more than I did (I can work from home, they can't). Instead of going inside and wasting away at Skyrim, I, and 4 others, helped 3 people recover their cars and freedom. But that's not all.
After a long days work, a neighbor and I went to the beer store. On the way back we say an 18 wheeler stuck on the side of the road. I admit, I would have driven by and justified it by telling myself there wasn't anything I could substantially do to help. But my neighbor, thank God, is less selfish than me. She pulled over, handed me gloves and a shovel, and we went to work digging out this poor trucker. And once I started digging, I forgot my beer, forgot skyrim, forgot the cold and pain (my socks were wet and my toes numb), and had only one objective: free the man from the snow. An hour into our trial, another good Samaritan volunteered his pickup truck to help pull the 18 wheeler while we removed the snow from its path. In the end we got him free. Though the driver, José, spoke little English, I could tell we made his day. The poor guy had been stranded for 2 days until my neighbor decided to help.
My point is this: my neighbor demonstrated immeasurable selflessness and a willingness to help, and in doing so she inspired both me and a community to also help. Do not ever underestimate the impact you might have through random acts of kindness.
We like to tell ourselves we won't have an impact or that our help will go unappreciated. We fixate on the reward and less on the effort. We often use that as an excuse to avoid helping and justify our selfishness, thus satiating our conscience. No, tell that Id to shut the f**k up and let your super ego take over. Help when you can, even if you think you won't accomplish much. You never know who you might help or better yet who you might inspire to help more. And that is the true virtute of knighthood. What good is chivalry and virtue if it does not manifest itself through good deeds that benefit others? I shamefully failed by not acting through my own initiative and required another to inspire me to act. And while I feel that remorse, I also feel the amazing sense of reward from helping another at the expense of myself (the guy, in broken English, asked what he owed us. i told him his payment was to help another person in return). This is what we must strive for: to be good people for others, not ourselves. In the end, it's our good deeds that matter, what we do for others and how we help that sends ripples through our universe that further inspire others. One simple deed can change everything. Let that deed be good.
I know I sound preachy and I apologize. But if anything, I learned a valuable lesson that charity is the single greatest thing we can accomplish in our lifetimes. My neighbor displayed such altruistic charity and through inspired others. Let yourselves be that beacon, let your knighthood mean something. Do good things for people even if you don't see results, even if you feel exhausted and cold, even if you despise the person your helping. For that is where knighthood triumphs over being just an ordinary good person.
TL;DR: Be good person. Do not wait for another to inspire you to act and do not let your chivalry become lukewarm. Let your good deeds inspire others. Be an example. Help one another.
Also, read this reddit comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/)
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I spent from 10am to 5pm yesterday helping everyone dig out. All the neighbors joined in, except for one knave whom always acts boorishly toward everyone. One gentleman in the neighborhood had a snow blower and the rest of us took up shovels. Sunburnt and sore and a little chilled afterwards, but it was an enjoyable and satisfying way to spend a Sunday.
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Thank you for sharing Mike.
It sounds like you guys out East got hammered by the storm. Many folks here in Minnesota sicker that a little snow can shut down a city. They forget that many states and municipalities aren't equipped for storms like this, nor should they be if it's a once in a lifetime event. I used to say the same thing about the "light weights" down here in the Twin Cities (closing school for -40 F ::) ).
Your point "Do not ever underestimate the impact you might have through random acts of kindness" is not lost on those who pay attention.
Jon mention that one neighbor "whom always acts boorishly". That's the individual who doesn't understand kindness, selflessness, charity, goodwill, and generosity with no expectation of reward. That's the individual whom I feel most sorry for. That's the individual whom it's most important to reach...
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Thank you for sharing your story Mike! It's a great reminder that it falls to us all to lead by example, to be the inspiration for others, and be a positive force for our communities. It's easy to forget.
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Well Said, Mike. Good on you.
On a similar note, I rolled my neighbor's trash dumpster in for them because they were out of town. It was slow going in the one inch of snow that we had in Alabamashire. I was out in the cold for over 5 minutes! Brrrr!
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It reminds me of this story about being the guy whom does while others say "Someone Else will do for Them".
"Why did God create atheists?"
There is a famous story told in Hassidic literature that addresses this very question. The Rabbi teaches the student that God created everything in the world to be appreciated, since everything is here to teach us a lesson.
One clever student asks “What lesson can we learn from atheists? Why did God create them?”
The Rabbi responds “God created atheists to teach us the most important lesson of them all — the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheist performs an act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone in need, and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that God commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he does not believe in God at all, so his acts are based on an inner sense of morality. And look at the kindness he can bestow upon others simply because he feels it to be right.”
"This means," the Rabbi continued "that when someone reaches out to you for help, you should never say ‘I pray that God will help you.’ Instead for the moment, you should become an atheist, imagine that there is no God who can help, and say ‘I will help you.’"
ETA source: Tales of the Hasidim, Vol. 2: The Later Masters [Martin Buber, Olga Marx]
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Nicely done, Mike. I am humbled; because I was one of the ones who shoveled out my drive and walk and could barely make it into the house under my own power. I saw plenty doing that, but a few seemed to be working in tandem and a snow blower made it to a few driveways.
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Well done, Mike.
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Well done!