ModernChivalry.org
Miscellaneous => The Sallyport => Topic started by: Thorsteinn on 2013-02-07, 01:49:39
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My very first, meant for the public, video. Please tell me what you think. It's a very raw presentation. Thoughts? Critiques? Ideas?
Oh.. and share, share lots!
Aspie Sean, Week 1: A taste of what it is to have Asperger's Syndrome. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbnEbt3MGdM#)
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I post this here as I get asked often at events what it is like to be this way. I know many of you have/know an Aspie or Autistic, and while I know that the Autistic experience is vastly different my hope is that if you understand my experience you might understand theirs.
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Sean didn't realize you posted this here too but you can see my thoughts on Facebook.
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I saw them! :)
I posted in a few places to make sure the word got out. Knowledge is power and whatnot.
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I had an idea...at least about the lack of empathy aspect, but the rest- a lot of that was news to me, Sean. Thanks for sharing...not that I thought ill of you in any way, I actually find that we have some things in common with regard to outlook, way of thinking things through...but I wonder if I would've ever bothered to get to know someone that I did not already have a major thing in common with them (the Path), you know? Like a chance meeting, let's say- not knowing anything about it, I would probably have written the guy off as a wacko. Thanks for the education!
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I can sympathize when you talk about background noises. Everything gets fuzzy and blurs together, and I can't focus on anything. Sometimes hard to carry on a conversation at a restaurant or with the TV on. I have a hard time catching body language or verbal cues, too. Some people have said someone was flirting with me that I completely did not notice, and others I thought were flirting with me had no interest at all.
I think the video was a good idea. I saw the list of others requested on Facebook. Videos can often give more insight than words alone.
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Part 2 for this week is up. :)
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I don't do the Book of Faces so if you end up posting it here, I'd be much obliged!
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Aspie Sean Week 1, Part 2: Idea's (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLFpR6264Xs#)
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Week 2 part 1: Empathy is up. It's got some heavy stuff in it personal story wise. Like the new webcam? Me too. :)
Aspie Sean Week 2: Empathy part 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6-mMF8lHXM#ws)
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If nothing else it can only help the general populous understand the condition a little more.
Well done Thorsteinn for sharing it....
G.
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Thanks!
I have a Facebook page for my work now:
Aspie Sean on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/AspieSean)
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Part 2 for week 2 is now up!
Aspie Sean Week 2: Empathy Part 2- "The Desire To Fix The Problem" HD (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jWq5bxL_ZY#ws)
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Week 3 is up.
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Question: Does anyone know of any Asperger's Syndrome/Autistic's/ASD'ers who are in the SCA and are...
Knights?
Laurels?
Pelicans?
Royals (Current or former)?
This is research for my web series.
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I was diagnosed with a possibility of either high functioning aspergers or PDD-NOS, as well as OCD. In all honesty my OCD is what is the worst out of all of that cause I can socialize just fine with people I have stuff in common with as the case at DoK and various ren faires. I honestly know my OCD is really bad, my whole family has it actually including my brother and mother, mine just happens to hit my medieval interest the most, hence why I make tons of posts about maille and whatnot.
I used to go to schools with aspergers kids, and in all honesty I didnt make a single friend there, I was also singled out as the most "normal" of all the kids cause I could have a basic convo with some people. Thankfully now I got an idea of whats socially acceptable and what isnt, long time ago when I was in my teenage years I didnt really care what was acceptable and I was quite rebellious. Lack of friends will do that to you as you wont pick up social skills as easily through being isolated. This is why I think it's only POSSIBLE aspergers, because the more I socialize the easier it becomes, I still have a lot of trouble socializing with people I dont have anything in common with, as Joe Schmo is not likely to be interested in medieval armor and arms, he's more likely to be interested in football games and other "average" interests. Even my music taste is "rare" as I dont like anything thats "normal". Most people find my music taste too dark and unhappy sounding which makes it hard for me to find people with the same taste with the exceptions of goths.
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So long as you don't use it as an excuse to become a recluse from or in society, you'll be fine. Believe it or not, none of us are all that alike- we share a lot in terms of interests, pursuits and hobbies, but we come from all walks of life and differing experiences. That is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, you should revel in it.
When I was in school, all I ever wanted was to 'fit in'; being one of only a handful of Black kids in a predominantly white school district meant that I had not only racism but classism to deal with. What side of town you lived in or were born in made a big difference...
In any case, my desire to belong to something greater than myself arose from this basic need to fit in. I had to grow to be comfortable with myself, in my own skin before I could ever belong to something such as this- if I had spent my life up til now cataloging, recording and analyzing every slur or offhand negative statement about me or what I do, I'd be a really dark and disturbed individual.
Now, I have picked and chosen the people whose opinions matter; their opinions matter because I deem it so, because I care about them and know they care about me. All else though? Of no interest to me whatsoever.
I have found friends in some of the what I would've called the unlikeliest of places...
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Aspie Sean Week 4: "How To Know If You Have Asperger's Syndrome." :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8jKNY9dD0A (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8jKNY9dD0A#ws)
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Just checked out your latest vid- you're very articulate, makes listening to what you're saying easy.
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Thanks! :D
I've been a Bard in the SCA for years, even have an award or two for it, and those experiences have informed my presentation style.
Have any topic's, questions, feedback, etc?
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Tumblr's language makes me feel, just a little, like I'm starting a cult. "You have 1 follower... you have 5 followers... you have 10 followers.... John Doe is following you".
See what I mean? ;)
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Tumblr's language makes me feel, just a little, like I'm starting a cult. "You have 1 follower... you have 5 followers... you have 10 followers.... John Doe is following you".
See what I mean? ;)
Or being stalked. :D
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I took the AQ test and scored as Neurotypical.
(http://imageshack.us/a/img42/7888/poly12cr.png)
I still think I do have it though because I have a lot of trouble emotionally connecting with people and was diagnosed as a kid of possibly having it.
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Was that the result from the one done by Wired.com?
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Actually I got it over here http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php (http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php)
I did take it last year and saved my results. I have no clue why I came back so neurotypical despite being obviously "odd" to most people. Maybe I should try the other tests as well..
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Actually I got it over here http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php (http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php)
I did take it last year and saved my results. I have no clue why I came back so neurotypical despite being obviously "odd" to most people. Maybe I should try the other tests as well..
I thought I'd try that one too. Here's what I got:
Your Aspie score: 78 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 150 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
(http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly12c.php?p1=58&p2=72&p3=34&p4=37&p5=31&p6=32&p7=37&p8=18&p9=16&p10=15&p11=74&p12=4)
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Me:
Your Aspie score: 132 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 70 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.
(http://rdos.net/eng/poly12c.php?p1=77&p2=91&p3=69&p4=85&p5=71&p6=70&p7=38&p8=85&p9=43&p10=43&p11=77&p12=47)
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Aspie Sean Week 5: The Great Myth of Aspie's and Lying. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x33-zTOkcz0#ws)
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Well that was interesting.
(http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly12c.php?p1=88&p2=73&p3=84&p4=76&p5=65&p6=82&p7=54&p8=67&p9=38&p10=39&p11=47&p12=62)
Your Aspie score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 79 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
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Huh, that is interesting. Of course it's not an actual diagnostic tool, but still, interesting indeed.
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An additional thought-- When I was taking it, many of the questions felt like they were testing whether you were introverted or extroverted. They did say there were some questions that didn't pertain to the test itself, but were there to draw some other data. I'm not sure which are which.
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An additional thought-- When I was taking it, many of the questions felt like they were testing whether you were introverted or extroverted. They did say there were some questions that didn't pertain to the test itself, but were there to draw some other data. I'm not sure which are which.
I'm definitely introverted. The eyes questions really threw me way off, I didn't know what any of them were and had to guess at every single one.
Lower perception and communication than talent and compulsive is spot on. My parents said my kindergarten teacher asked them if I knew how to talk, and if I knew how to interact with other kids at all. Apparently the first 6 weeks or so of school, I didn't speak to any of the other classmates, and just sat and played by myself (oldest of the generation, cousin & sister 4 years younger). I'm also terrible at noticing/remembering what people are wearing (if it's not medieval / dragons / etc), and I'm terrible at noticing when somebody gets a hair cut or looks different than "the usual" unless it's an extreme difference (like dying black hair blonde). Perception?
Quite a few things that I can also think of that might affect my score (people showing up unannounced, not wanting to be interrupted mid-project, starting lots of things without finishing previous ones, and the OCD related things like preferring symmetry or being perfectionist on details most people don't even notice). The symmetry and perfectionist parts I'd call compulsive.
Why those things fall on the Aspie side instead of Neurotypical, I have no idea. That has me really curious.
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The funny thing is, I probably answered similarly on at least some of those things. I hate interruptions, and I have a hard time finishing all the little projects I start too. I'm also super introverted, and was a late-talker as a kid. I also answered "yes" to noticing details, and being bothered by stray sounds, and so on.
I also had a really hard time on the eyes, even though I did great on the face-quiz I took a while back. When it's just the eyes, and a lot of the answers seem to fit, it's really hard. I felt some were easier than others, but not by much.
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Week 6: "Aspie's & Sensory Issues" is up.
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I don't know what this is saying about me, other than I don't suffer from Aspie's, or don't appear to at least.
(http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly12c.php?p1=52&p2=26&p3=40&p4=33&p5=34&p6=32&p7=17&p8=29&p9=22&p10=4&p11=27&p12=5)
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Please share the below.
OK. I have been told by an unimpeachable source (A female quadruple Peer who is like family to me), that there are diagnosed "Sir Aspie's" out there. However I would like to say that I have been contacted first hand by Laurel's, Pelican's, and Royal's about their A.S. diagnosis, but not a single Knight has come forward. This is very suggestive to me that they feel a shame or stigma to being open about their disorder.
So for all the Sir Aspie's out there siting in the shadows, this is for you.
I support whatever choice you make, but know there is one here whom will stand by your side.
"Our Deepest Fear" speech. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ybt8wXIahQU#)
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There's a strong stigma out there in general when it comes to various mental conditions. What's interesting is that a lot of it is self-imposed.
I think you know what I mean, but it can be liberating to acknowledge your condition and work with it.
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For some, but not all. Not everyone is able to face their issues like that head-on...for some, that's even more traumatic.
I think that the ones who do not respond to you, Ivan, deserve their privacy without reprisal. Whether they feel shame, or fear the stigma, it is still their own private business.
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Week 7, Part 1 is up.
Aspie Sean Week 7, Part 1: "Aspie's and the Society for Creative Anachronism" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96SrdORXNMI#ws)
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Fan mail & questions would be easier to handle if I didn't care, but if I didn't care I wouldn't be doing the series. Work Work Work.
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I've been following along, and the videos have all been interesting. Good work so far!
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Fan mail & questions would be easier to handle if I didn't care, but if I didn't care I wouldn't be doing the series. Work Work Work.
It's a vicious circle :)
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Aspie Sean Week 8: "Emotional Control & Seeming Irrationality" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mv_kJPPtgtU#ws)
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Good to see another aspie stand up and voice themselves! I also have Asperger's and have learned through trial and tribulation how to adapt to society.
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Cool! It looks like I have over 300 people following my series at the moment. :D
This week will be week 10!
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Week 10:
Aspie Sean Week 10: "Aspies and Spoon Theory (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ntCuDvbX-Y#ws)
And the Spoon Theory I speak of-
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ (http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/)
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Week 13 is up.
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Thorsteinn,
thank you so much for posting these. It takes a lot of courage to do so. I laughed, and yes, I teared up a bit, watching your videos.
I have one question for you: does the TV show "Big Bang Theory" help your friends or family that aren't Aspies understand you? Because let me tell you, it's surprisingly helped me out so much. After 30 years of life, most of which I wasn't home (military boarding school), then 4 years of Catholic High School where I had many activities, and then the military, thanks to Big Bang Theory, my parents and family finally get me.
Also, "life-long student" is definitely I also fall under :) my anthropology professor/mentor/counselor told me in relation to me being in school as long as I have, "we always should learn something new. you excel in the academia (luckily that's one thing, research, I can stay focused on) and so you just want to "stay" there's nothing wrong with that. I have four masters, two doctorates, and eight bachelor's degrees, and now I'm working on my ninth." - as nice as it was seeing your videos, it was great to meet him too.
Sir Edward - I also had a feeling questions on the quiz Sir Ulrich posted were very orientated towards "introverted vs extroverted" as well.
Thorsteinn - I think the "frat house" that is the Chivalry within the SCA definitely stigmas and makes fun of the Knights within it that are "different." Just my personal experience, knowing one who is very, very, high ranked and well admired in Caid. He was the first one to tell me about the SCA back in high school, he's also the "textbook aspie" in the "Sheldon Cooper - I'm holier than thou" sort of way ;D but a great friend. He also asked not to post his name on here. :'(
BTW... the VA diagnosed me as an Aspie with severe social phobia. Ironically, it was my time served within the military that developed my social phobia, I don't make friends anymore basically out of a fear of losing them. They also like treating me as a "go-to" test subject since I am Aspie but somehow survived and even at few times, excelled within the military environment since I was 8 years old. I keep telling them it was nothing because when you're a low-rank, you just shut up. It was easy for me to just shut-down. I don't know if it was the same for you Thorsteinn since you said you served time in the National Guard.
I also took Sir Ulrich's test -
174 of 200: Aspie, 31 of 200: Neurotypical
Aspie Talent: 9.7 of 10
Aspie Compulsion: 9.8 of 10 - they also say the OCD came from too much polishing lol
It is funny too, I'm starting to see why quacks like me lol I scored 8.2 of 10 for Aspie social, and yet according to further tests, I never did count for ADD, ADHD, or ODD. Basically I "choose" apparently ;D is what I've been told. ODD was the first thing I was ever tested for, and my Mom was so pissed I didn't "qualify" as one. My doc at the time just looked at her, smirked and said "no, Mrs. Murphy, your son just has very little respect for you. Now why is that?" and we never went to him again :o
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Always good to see my work helping other's. :)
IIRC Sheldon Cooper isn't an Aspie, just a very very smart man who doesn't care for those less than him (Acording to the actor and writers that is), though I don't watch it as I don't have Cable, or a TV so YMMV. :(
See what most forget is that every 30 pts of IQ means that you really must work hard to communicate with each other. I find it nearly impossible to have meaningful conversations with folks in the 80-100 range as they are 2 "deviations" away from me.
I did OK in the ANG but I had to leave due to undiagnosed Hypoglycemia side effects (extreme weight loss & psychosis).
I also have big family issues as I've spoken of in the series as I will be getting to more of this week I think.
Please feel free to message me any questions, feedback, or topic ideas. I can always use all of it. :)
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I know how you feel about the weight loss. In basic my kidneys shut down from weight loss... I had to postpone basic for a week, right in the middle and basically sit in a hospital bed eating tubs of ice-cream! Needless to say my first day back with my new company was rough!
Oh! as an idea, what about how Aspies is portrayed in media? For example, I have to think the writers of Big Bang Theory just don't realize what Aspies is... I feel all the main characters have some level of Aspergers, minus Penny of course. Also, Robert Downey Jr's portrayal and in fact, the original story, of Sherlock Holmes. He definitely seems to fit the "stereotype" if there was one. Whenever I lose my drive, my hair gets uncut, I'm unshaven, and my room is a disaster.
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Aspie Sean Week 16: "Martial Arts". (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67eR0HsvBBA#ws)
This week I speak a bit about my experiences in the martial arts, both eastern & western, and to why I think it's good for us Aspie's to do them for life.
Wow, 23 years of memories are a lot to sift through.
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In other news I got a job offer that didn't feel right. When I came back and said I needed it to be modified as I didn't feel safe doing the job (12+ hrs of night time driving on top of the 1 hr to and from) the offer was removed.
I hate doing the right thing for me only to be kicked in the teeth for it.
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In other news I got a job offer that didn't feel right. When I came back and said I needed it to be modified as I didn't feel safe doing the job (12+ hrs of night time driving on top of the 1 hr to and from) the offer was removed.
I hate doing the right thing for me only to be kicked in the teeth for it.
Saw the post on facebook. Unfortunately, with the job market the way it is, they can probably find someone who is willing to do the 12+ hrs of night-time driving, so employers are less inclined to work with people right now. It's a sucky state of affairs.
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Yeah, that stinks. But it's better to do what's right, than to end up dead in ditch somewhere. So don't feel bad.
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Yeah, that stinks. But it's better to do what's right, than to end up dead in ditch somewhere. So don't feel bad.
Amen to that Sir Edward. It's truly a sad state right now. Thorstein, have you ever considered self employment? :D at least for me, my weird sleep, and such, it's been very rewarding. We always take the good with the bad, and for me, the stress of the bad with self-employment gets eclipsed by the freedoms and the ability that I'm "working for me."
Beyond that, I thought your video about us transgressing from learning and approaching "no mind" or "zanshin" was very, very good. Right now, ironically, I'm working in a group that doesn't allow thrusting, yet, since I'm new. It's funny, I'm constantly making myself do pushups because I can't help but try a thrust/transitional to a draw cut as an attack. It's just second nature for me now.
I also agree with the person who told you "martial arts aren't a good idea" in one respect. He explained we think too much, analyze too much, and it gets us killed. ;D Yep, pretty much, 100% accurate for me. Until I reached that "no-mind" sense. I also believe that ability may be harder for us to achieve though, and takes more, constant dedication to achieve. I know it did for me. It's fun now, trying new things. It's been so long since I have. I've been playing piano at a concert level, for well over 12 years, been playing piano for almost 20. I've been practicing Destreza since I was eight, so that's 22 years. So now, learning guitar and trying this new groups sword work, is very very fun, in its challenge. I'm nowhere near getting to no-mind in it. I have good moments, sure. But every time I let myself go, I thrust or try a thrust/draw cut :D ... and have to do pushups.
I think it's all in our personal perception of things. If it's a challenge, and I think I can't do it, which is rare, I just never accomplish that "thing." When it's a challenge I enjoy, I've never failed. I think that's Aspie too.
Also, Thorsteinn, I hope you don't mind but I kind of had to jump on a soapbox for a minute over on the AA for you. I couldn't help it.
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For those of the Order following me, sorry for taking so long on this weeks vid. I was having technical issues and needed to fix them. Now Youtube & Vimeo are up to date. :D
_Thorsteinn.
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Something happened at SCA Fighter Practice, and this was the result~
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Something happened in my personal life yesterday to remind me that it's still not clear to everyone who isn't truly on the spectrum that while a broken leg will heal and depression may be overcome, Asperger's Syndrome or Autism will never heal.
An ASD'er may adapt a bit to the world or the world to them but there is no "healing" this. It's not a broken leg, but a missing one. It's not a malfunctioning brain like in depression but one that works, albeit strangely, just as it should.
To tell an Aspie to "get over it" or that they fail because "they just aren't trying hard enough" or that life is difficult because they are simply choosing to make it that way or or to imply that all of their life's problems and challenges is their fault, or to say that all of the abuse and discrimination they face is their or that it can't possibly be that bad is as deeply offensive and wrong as telling an LGBT person that who they are is a choice and/or they simply haven't worked hard enough to be straight and that the beatings, abuse, and discrimination they face is really their fault and they have no right to expect to be treated decently.
If you know someone who does the above then you know someone who is part of the problem, and who does discriminate and abuse people. They may not see it. They may not believe it. They may even think it's their right to do so. They are wrong.
Try to educate them. Try to make it better, but know that we are fighting a kind of war, and we will lose battles. We only lose the war when we give up.
"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more..."
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An ASD'er may adapt a bit to the world or the world to them but there is no "healing" this. It's not a broken leg, but a missing one. It's not a malfunctioning brain like in depression but one that works, albeit strangely, just as it should.
To tell an Aspie to "get over it" or that they fail because "they just aren't trying hard enough" or that life is difficult because they are simply choosing to make it that way or or to imply that all of their life's problems and challenges is their fault, or to say that all of the abuse and discrimination they face is their or that it can't possibly be that bad is as deeply offensive and wrong as telling an LGBT person that who they are is a choice and/or they simply haven't worked hard enough to be straight and that the beatings, abuse, and discrimination they face is really their fault and they have no right to expect to be treated decently.
To be fair, there are several kinds of depression, and some of them are just as permanent. Others are more temporary, and many are in between in that recovery is possible, but with an inherent risk and life-long awareness being required to keep it from repeating. But a lot of the difference comes from most forms of depression being self-inflicted. The more severe cases can be completely neurological in nature, but many are just a matter of how you've trained your brain to work. (Being a survivor, in a way I actually have a little less patience for depression just because of how much of my recovery involved coming to the realization of how self-inflicted it was in the first place).
Anyway, that's just an aside. The "get over it" sort of approach doesn't work with any mental condition any better than it does with an amputation. That is completely true. To simply say "you're not trying hard enough" is to completely dismiss the challenges you face, and a significant part of who you are. It's beyond insensitive, and can be very destructive to people who are fighting such demons.
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An ASD'er may adapt a bit to the world or the world to them but there is no "healing" this. It's not a broken leg, but a missing one. It's not a malfunctioning brain like in depression but one that works, albeit strangely, just as it should.
To tell an Aspie to "get over it" or that they fail because "they just aren't trying hard enough" or that life is difficult because they are simply choosing to make it that way or or to imply that all of their life's problems and challenges is their fault, or to say that all of the abuse and discrimination they face is their or that it can't possibly be that bad is as deeply offensive and wrong as telling an LGBT person that who they are is a choice and/or they simply haven't worked hard enough to be straight and that the beatings, abuse, and discrimination they face is really their fault and they have no right to expect to be treated decently.
To be fair, there are several kinds of depression, and some of them are just as permanent. Others are more temporary, and many are in between in that recovery is possible, but with an inherent risk and life-long awareness being required to keep it from repeating. But a lot of the difference comes from most forms of depression being self-inflicted. The more severe cases can be completely neurological in nature, but many are just a matter of how you've trained your brain to work. (Being a survivor, in a way I actually have a little less patience for depression just because of how much of my recovery involved coming to the realization of how self-inflicted it was in the first place).
Anyway, that's just an aside. The "get over it" sort of approach doesn't work with any mental condition any better than it does with an amputation. That is completely true. To simply say "you're not trying hard enough" is to completely dismiss the challenges you face, and a significant part of who you are. It's beyond insensitive, and can be very destructive to people who are fighting such demons.
QFT, all of it; Thorsteinn and Sir Edward. I couldn't have said it any better myself having gone through what I've been through. Recovery is hard enough as it is, and usually it's our own inner demons that can impede the way. Having someone else be brutal and blunt can easily just ruin it further.
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Some fans have requested I do some swordwork vids. For the WMA/SCA/HEMA side video's I've got these for ideas:
Basic Stance in 4 parts- Single Handed Sword, Pole Weapon, Two-handed Sword, Rapier (& other fencing).
The Snap.
The Backhand.
The Wrap.
The Thrust.
The Slot Shot.
The 1-2 Fake.
The Shoulder Fake.
I know there's probably a few more easy I could do but what do y'all think?
Here is where they would live.
SCA & WMA/HEMA Vids on the Aspie Sean Channel. (http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHQQibu-Ww5hmEr7YIzXXASx3ehE1MSca)
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Employment Pt's 1 & 2 are out.
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Week 25 is out.
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And it relates to HEMA/WMA too.
Aspe Sean Week 27 Bonus Video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3bSycV5raQ#)
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aye one of my younger cousins has a form of aspergers.
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I can't believe I've been doing this for over 2 years now.
Aspie Sean Week 42 "All Different. All The Same."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_ZnuSGCTN8