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What Does It Really Take to Be Just a Little Bit Chivalrous?

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SirNathanQ:

--- Quote from: Sir Brian on 2012-07-02, 17:24:40 ---Courtesy and consideration costs you virtually nothing but pays in exorbitant dividends.  ;)

--- End quote ---

I think this just about sums it up  :)

Sir Patrick:
+3

Joshua Santana:

--- Quote ---Courtesy and consideration costs you virtually nothing but pays in exorbitant dividends.  ;)


I think this just about sums it up  :)

--- End quote ---

I agree, excellent read.  Being Chivalrous does not mean that you get the most attention for what you did.  It means doing what is right even when no one is watching or when no one is paying attention.  (Hint: no act of mercy or courtesy ever goes unrewarded)

Cavaliere di Fiore:
I have an odd reaction to that article. I took public transportation regularly while I lived in Reno, Nevada. People were not generally courteous, but that included the elderly. I have given up my seat many a time to ladies, to elderly men and women, to pregnant women, etc,  but I have been hated before despite my attempts at courtesy. Let me give you an example.

A man of probably sixty who I had seen several times walking around the city (this is Reno, remember, very small) walked onto the nearly empty bus while I was sitting near the front in the reserved seating, as I am wont to do when no one required it. The man, I knew, was in perfectly good physical shape, and in fact tended to stand on the bus rides rather then sit, so I thought nothing of my place in the seat when he strode onto the bus. As soon as he saw me there he finished his conversation with the bus driver and looked upon me with apparent disgust. He said "Well are you going to move? This is reserved for the elderly." In a very loud and rude way. I said plainly that "I didn't realize you wanted to sit," and moved. From then on the man looked at me with a rude look whenever I would get onto the bus with him. So apparently, even though I moved, he still hated me, or at least regarded me with dissatisfaction.

Me being the person that I am, I did not stop giving seats to people because of this rude man, but I can imagine that plenty of others who had witnessed this had thought "Why should I help a person like this?" Or they have similar situations which they have encountered that deterred them from being chivalrous.

I think the problem is, then, less a lack of chivalry, but an excess of entitlement. People that think that they deserve chivalry act rudely to those who do not show them it, and they create a negative precedent for the use of chivalry for those who would be chivalrous.

We grew up looking at chivalry in (I suppose) the proper way. That is we believe being chivalrous is its own reward. Most people were not raised like us, though, and perhaps think a thank you or a little recognition should follow. When they do not receive this recognition after repeated attempts they give up on trying it at all.

Thoughts?

Sir William:
I do know elderly people who evince that same sentiment of entitlement- and rightfully so.  Those seats are reserved for them for a reason...I get that sitting in them is of little consequence if no one else is, but if there is one...much like handicapped parking.  You, I and everyone else knows that you shouldn't park there unless you're in fact handicapped, just like we all know that many park there who are not, but either have a bogus sticker, or simply do not care enough to try and park somewhere else.

In any case, the handicapped seating is not for the likes of you and I...I'd even hazard to say that the old man indulged in the conversation with the bus driver, not only because he was familiar with him, but to give you time to have the good grace to vacate said seating for one of those for which it was designated for.

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