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Chivalry and Relationships
SirNathanQ:
An honorable choice Sir Joshua. :) Good job knowing your priorities and making the hard decisions that had to be made.
Joshua Santana:
My thank to you Brethren. Here are a few thoughts I had for the last three days.
First: What I gained from this experience was learning what it means to be steadfast. It is one of those virtues that underlies Honor, Courage and Moral Nobility. Me holding on to what I believe and keeping my priorities straight and true despite this "loss" is what being steadfast is about. It truly happens when you stand in a dilemma of making a choice to stand true to what you believe against doing something that will feel good for no, but will end up bad.
Second: This reveals as to why Courtly Love was invented for! Courtship is a more reliable standard of finding the right woman for you because it looks towards the character of the individual rather than the looks. It is all about the heart rather than the good looking eyes.
Third: Came up with three litmus test to help determine the right lady. First test is "is she a God fearing woman?". Second test is "does she appreciate the Code of Chivalry?". Third test is "Does her words match her intentions, are they congruent?" The lady that has these qualities (and the "full green lights" from both parents) is the right one.
This is my take on this situation my Brethren. To put it briefly,I kissed dating goodbye and I welcomed Courtship.
Thorsteinn:
I, myself, had a rather odd relationship happenstance.
Over the weekend I was marshaling for, and chatted with, my ex-fiance's ex-husband who is getting married this year to a lady (whom I have met previously) whom is all-around a better person than our mutual Ex.
Here's the catch: Till we were tagged in a photo together I had no idea who he was. We've since chatted and he thanked me for helping get her off her butt to finalize the 2-year long divorce.
Nice guy really. :)
Note: I'm in the Blue hood. He is in the COP with no sleeves.
<Reverend hat on>
PS: Josh- Regarding that litmus test via a woman; Neither your god nor your parents will have to love, honor, cherish, and live with her, but you will. 2 of your top 3 things don't directly relate to you. Given as how the avatar of your god was a member of my birth religion I can tell you that a good Rabbi would not have told Yeshuvah to use those litmus test options as a method to determine a happy marriage for they lead only to you looking for a copy of yourself and not another, separate & whole, individual with their own belief's, needs, dreams, desires, and opinions who is wonderful & kind enough to take you, and all your eccentricities (and being Asperger's myself I can only imagine they are legion like mine), and love you not despite them, but because of them. Don't look for perfect. Look for a person. A wonderful, wonderful person.
<Reverend hat off>
-Thorsteinn
Sir Edward:
--- Quote from: Thorsteinn on 2012-06-28, 01:53:24 ---Over the weekend I was marshaling for, and chatted with, my ex-fiance's ex-husband who is getting married this year to a lady (whom I have met previously) whom is all-around a better person than our mutual Ex.
Here's the catch: Till we were tagged in a photo together I had no idea who he was. We've since chatted and he thanked me for helping get her off her butt to finalize the 2-year long divorce.
Nice guy really. :)
--- End quote ---
Boy, you both dodged a bullet then... the same bullet. :)
Joshua Santana:
--- Quote ---<Reverend hat on>
PS: Josh- Regarding that litmus test via a woman; Neither your god nor your parents will have to love, honor, cherish, and live with her, but you will. 2 of your top 3 things don't directly relate to you. Given as how the avatar of your god was a member of my birth religion I can tell you that a good Rabbi would not have told Yeshuvah to use those litmus test options as a method to determine a happy marriage for they lead only to you looking for a copy of yourself and not another, separate & whole, individual with their own belief's, needs, dreams, desires, and opinions who is wonderful & kind enough to take you, and all your eccentricities (and being Asperger's myself I can only imagine they are legion like mine), and love you not despite them, but because of them. Don't look for perfect. Look for a person. A wonderful, wonderful person.
<Reverend hat off>
--- End quote ---
You're quite right in that regard of not looking for someone perfect but rather a wonderful woman. The litmus tests are not per say real tests but rather what qualities do I look for in a woman. In regards to my Faith, I believe that sharing a mutual Faith is essential in any relationship (just my Chivalric interpretation). If She doesn't know Chivalry but shares my Faith that is ok by me.
--- Quote ---Over the weekend I was marshaling for, and chatted with, my ex-fiance's ex-husband who is getting married this year to a lady (whom I have met previously) whom is all-around a better person than our mutual Ex.
Here's the catch: Till we were tagged in a photo together I had no idea who he was. We've since chatted and he thanked me for helping get her off her butt to finalize the 2-year long divorce.
Nice guy really. :)
Boy, you both dodged a bullet then... the same bullet. :)
--- End quote ---
Indeed, that was a close one. :)
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